Stardate 8162002
I'm a bit miffed. I went to see The Groundlings Bad Actors Showcase and I was told no photography but I didn't know there'd be a reception afterwards where I COULD take pictures. Now nobody will ever see the glorious spread of Cheeze Whiz on Ritz and Hostess Cupcakes. So let me just tell you, Paul Reubens looked High-larious in his long wig. He was playing Reid Even Wilson in a highly adapted scene from Butterflies Are Free. He's got some perky little manboobs now. I don't think he could fit into that Pee Wee Herman outfit if he wanted. And let me tell, he doesn't want to. Ever. Pee Wee Is Dead. Long Live Pee Wee.
Camryn Manheim and Groundling alum Chris Kattan (miraculously in Los Angeles while SNL is on hiatus) were among the audience members. Camryn's ears were laced with tiny silver hoops. Damn, she hella punk rock. Her toe nails were also painted neon green. That's an important thing to notice, I'm sure. Andy Jones, film columnist extraordinaire of E! Online, and Tony Wilson, Factory Records maven and subject of 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE, have been spotted sporting dayglo polish on their toes. Wilson, ever the dandy, reminded me that his polish is Anna Sui. Which, like all her cosmetics, smells like roses.
Jennifer Coolidge from BEST IN SHOW made a guest appearance as a trashy downtown beehive-laden mom in a scene where she replaced her "daughter" in THE GLASS MENAGERIE. I asked Michael McKean (Lenny, from LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY, also in BEST IN SHOW) if he had ever performed with The Groundlings, during an interview for SLAP HER SHE'S FRENCH. He said he'd never been asked but he's gone because, "it's a funny show." I couldn't agree more. The concept is that the actors become "actors" who stage scenes from well-known plays and movies. Watching Liza Minelli (the character) play the psychologist from AGNES OF GOD was worth the price of admission.
What am I saying? I didn't pay. But if I did, I would have thought to myself, "Self, this was well worth the damage done to my entertainment budget."
The ever-easy on the eyes and uber-talented Paul Rudd was out at the premiere of THE CHATEAU - a film by Jesse Peretz,
in which he plays Graham, a midwestern wannabe worldly wise intellectual who inherits a chateau in France with his brother,
Allen, played by Romany Malco. When Bill Paxton arrived at the Laemmle Sunset, Donal Logue, who has a
small scene in the film, borrowed my camera and played Photographer, shouting, "BILL! BILL! OVER HERE, BILL!" Methinks Hollywood
may just be getting sick of itself. The other photogs immediately surrounded Logue and somehow the line between press and performer
was permanently blurred as I became a supporting character in the charade. Amanda Peet was also in attendance. Her new film, IGBY GOES DOWN, with Susan Sarandon and Jeff Goldblum, opens in mid September. She plays Goldblum's junkie mistress.
I just want to tell y'all that I'm listening to THE POLICE - "Everything She Does is Magic" - and its an eerily still day in Los Angeles and its making me want to fuck some shit up to alleviate the boredom.
The best photo I took was one of these three Texan sisters visiting LA and asking me, "Who's Paul Rudd?" God Bless 'Em. They paraded in front of the line of photogs who obliged by giving them the star treatment after the real stars had left the courtyard. It was out of control.
Hey! Are you watching Anna Nicole Smith? Sources tell me that after seeing herself in the first episode, she ran right out and got herself a nutritionist and a trainer. Look for a more svelte Anna as the months go by. I fucking love that trashy-ass Diva. YOU GO, GIRL! She's Texan. So is George Bush Jr.
This has nothing to do with LA, well, sort of ... Bush staged an economic summit in good ol' Tex-ass to find out what workaday
folks think should be done to save the economy. Because you know, underneath that channel-surfing façade is a John Maynard Keynes just waiting to happen. Among the more erudite suggestions - Grow your own food and get a bike, cuz its gonna git ugly.
Since I'm feeling so apocalyptic (Apocalypse Culture - now that's a good subject for Off The Radar)
I went to the wrap party for Forest Whitaker's PAPI CHULO. The Twentieth Century Fox feature is currently undergoing the delicate operation called "Editing" right in Whitaker's office, where he tells me he has many AVIDs. He also told me he's the new Rod Serling. UPN has started filming an all-new Twilight Zone series and Whitaker is the host. Okay, now I'M in the Twilight Zone. PAPI CHULO, which translates as Majorly Hot Guy in gringese, is about a guy who's got three girls, and when they find out they aren't the only one, they get together to get back at his sorry ass. Jerry Springer action ensues. The superfine cast is going to melt screens sometime early next year.
Some of the dirt dished at the party: "Its real hard to get into J-Lo's restaurant, but the food sucks." Ouch. Parlez-vous Spanglais? J-Lo's restaurant in Pasadena serves Cuban food and is called "Madre's." Never mind that in Spanish the posessive would be De La Madre - which has a nice, subtle, poetic quality. Whose bright idea was it to take liberties with that misplaced possessive? Rumour has it, Ben Affleck. Ich Bin Ein Jelly Donut, Boy Blunder.
Next time, in honor of Ming the Merciless's (the ever-vigilant site administrator) wedding, I'll be doing a series of all the things he misses about LA. The massage parlors, the coke dealers, limos and Pam Anderson. It's not too late, pal.
I'm puking up my guts and heading out to the intimate little spoken-word open mike that keeps me sane in this dizzying circus. Hasta La Chula Vista, Baby!
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