June 3, 2005
A Disaster Waiting to Happen
Whether they want to admit it or not, everyone secretly wishes they could be be Roland Emmerich, rich and powerful director of such masterpieces as THE PATRIOT, INDEPENDENCE DAY, GODZILLA, and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. Okay, maybe not GODZILLA, but when you're a rich and powerful director like Emmerich, you know how to take the good with the bad. It helps that you are bathed nightly in milk, rubbed with fine oils, and dressed in fine silks by eunuchs who are not allowed to look you in the eye. That's just the kind of life you lead when you're the man who directed STARGATE.
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Why is it that everyone harbors a secret Emmerich fixation? Is it his chiseled German good looks? His giant piles of money? His gift for merging almost goofy dialogue with images of stuff blowing up? We may never know, although we have a strong suspicion that it's the money. What we do know, however, is that fulfilling your Emmerich fantasy is not as hard as you might think: Simply press the button below and -- bam! -- you've created a Roland Emmerich masterpiece. It's just that easy!
What are you waiting for? Your eunuchs are standing by! Be all the Emmerich you can be!
