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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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Breakdowns -- Faith-Biased Initiative

December 19, 2002

We’re winding down the year, so I thought I’d take a look at some of the best comics of the year, but I threw in some unusual categories and some smart-ass stuff to make it different than what everyone else is doing. And since I’m committed to not missing a week of THE GRENDEL SAGA until it’s over, there’s one of those, too. Aaaannd, since I’m also committed to looking forward, there are reviews of a number of recent books as well, including THE DOOFUS OMNIBUS, GUNS, DRUGS & MONSTERS, and METABARONS: ALPHA/OMEGA. Because of this, the Best Of thing will conclude next week.

THE DOOFUS OMNIBUS by Rick Altergott. Fantagraphics Books.
Ah, stinkies. Why is it that James Ellroy can admit to a youth spent breaking into homes to sniff soiled panties and still be a highly respected author, yet the equally talented Altergott only writes and draws a character who likes to do much the same thing, and he’s praised only within a small circle of readers and fellow cartoonists? Could it be because DOOFUS is so unremittingly stupid, with off-kilter gags and mistimed punchlines? Yeah, I guess that’s it. But it’s a really good kind of stupid, the kind that comes from a really smart and talented cartoonist knowing just what effects he’s going for. The stories and short strips here in this collection are rarely side-splitting, but always eminently readable, and the scheming, pompous Doofus and his addled sidekick Henry Hotchkiss consistently characterized. They’re a classic team in the mold of Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton if neither of those men had the slightest clue how to find girls and get laid.

All the Fantagraphics heavyweights like Crumb, Los Bros Hernandez and Clowes adore Altergott’s work, and he seems to have equal admiration, collaborating with Clowes on a goofy story that wouldn’t have been out of place in an early issue of EIGHTBALL, and Altergott also veers into the “weird lives of old musicians” area like Crumb, with the sad but not altogether compelling tale of one of Stan Kenton’s composers and friends. But mostly, it’s just him exploring the pathetic lives of Doofus and Henry, which is as it should be. Some have compared the art to Wally Wood’s, and while it’s very good and detailed, I wouldn’t go quite that far. More reminiscent of MAD’s George Woodbridge, maybe, not at all a bad thing, either.

GUNS, DRUGS AND MONSTERS by Steve Niles. Illustrations by Ashley Wood. IDW Publishing. $15.99
Picking up not long after the events of the previous Cal McDonald novel SAVAGE MEMBRANE, we here find our beloved substance-abusing, monster-hunting detective relocating from D.C. to Los Angeles, to solve the beheading of an older detective buddy of his. Good thing the head is still talking; now to find the body and put a stop to the teen conjuror. First, though, Cal must deal with werewolves, vampires, and some flying demons that just may signal the end of the world. And there’s even a love interest!

This is one of the most enjoyable, least pretentious horror novels I’ve ever read. Horror noir, to be more precise, and both of these fiction genres seem to bring out the worst in many writers: florid, Gothic prose in the horror, imitative hard-boiled grime in crime/mystery genre. But Niles cuts right through this to deliver a lean, exciting and hilarious read, better even than the first novel. There is no romance in vampirism here; some are laid-back types—good neighbors—and the old-school Transylvanian type, Dave, is just a sad old predator. Hell, Count Chocula has more characterization, but that’s part of the charm of the book; it just races through one fun episode after another. In fact, those who picked up the HAIRBALL comic will find those events replayed here, cast into the larger story very effectively. And yet, as breakneck as the pacing is, the characters still shine. Mo’Lock, Cal’s ghoul partner, is possessive of him, jealous of Cal’s new L.A. ghoul friends. Sam Burnett, the bodiless detective, is a gruffer, older version of Cal; the difference being that Cal seems to have a chance for love in his life with paranormal magazine publisher Sabrina. And Cal continues to appeal as a kind of Belushiesque force of nature, self-medicated, unrepentant, and cracking jokes through the pain. Settle back on the couch with some cold beers within reach and tell your significant other to leave you along; you’ve got some important reading to do.

THE METABARONS: ALPHA/OMEGA by Jodorowsky, Gimenez, Charest and Moebius. Humanoids Publishing. $9.95
This book is an intriguing odds-and-sods collection of material previously unseen by American audiences, as well as some new material. The first new story, “The Crest of the Castaka,” by the regular METABARONS team of Jodorowsky and Gimenez, finally reveals the secret of the bird symbol on each Metabaron’s skin. More importantly, we see the how an aristocratic family of four becomes bitter enemies of the Techno-Priests, willing to do anything for survival. Jodorowsky’s restless wit creates a powerful legend in just fourteen pages, even with throwaway Three Stooges references and the abrasive repartee of constant robot narrators Tonto and Lothar.

“Incal: Lost Pages” and “Metabarons 1: Lost Pages” are the same script telling the tale of the first stage of Solune becoming a Metabaron according to family tradition. That is, his father deforms him in some way (in this case destroying an ear and part of his brain with a metal apparatus forced into the side of his head). Solune first comes to the attention of his father as an infant, his mother pleading with the Metabaron to care for him. The Metabaron wants to refuse, but Solune’s mental power is already so formidable that he can’t. Moebius drew the Incal version many years ago, now recolored, and as much as I like his work, he’s not working in his best style here. Very good storytelling, but less pinache as some of his other work, and certainly less than Juan Gimenez’ painted work, which adorns the Metabarons version. It is interesting, however, to compare and contrast how two masters interpret the same, detailed script. And of course, Gimenez had Moebius’ work to look at as he made his own choices.

The final story, “The Last Metabaron,” is the major draw for many, as it features the first work of popular WILDCATS artist Travis Charest since he left that book and moved to France. Quite frankly, it’s well worth the wait, as he’s taken a quantum leap. He seems to have incorporated computers into his art, but in a seemless, fully-realized fashion. This is right up there with the best art in comics for the year. The story is simple but effective, as Solune and his father, the Metabaron, fight a “Leodactyl,” and later, they fight each other to the death, as per Metabaron code. The action is beautifully composed, the coloring magnificent. While the brevity of the stories means one doesn’t get the same impact as found in the longer METABARONS serials, these are some important chapters in the saga, and a more than adequate means to get readers to snatch up the other trade paperbacks.

CITIES OF THE FANTASTIC: THE INVISIBLE FRONTIER VOL. 1 by Francois Schuiten and Benoit Peeters. NBM Publishing. $15.95
In this first volume of two, a just-graduated cartographer named Roland is hired on for a complex project in the strange, vast city. His boss is gruff and demanding, but his behavior is found to be justified as he finds his life’s work being changed to an impersonal and highly politicized science by a new despot. Roland has unfortunately arrived at a point where his character has never been tested and his convictions have never been articulated. He may have to give up his very career to preserve tradition and the integrity of his art, or he may stand back and do nothing. His mysterious new love, with her mysterious map-like skin, may be the key.

I wish I had the second volume handy, as things were just getting good. The traditions of cartography may not sound exciting, but the story is really applicable to any trade that has lost its personality by the relentless onslaught of technology. Also, it is a pointed reminder of how scientific objectivity can be subverted for political ends. Peeters’ art is mesmerizing, elegantly depicting the three-dimensional map and the suitably anachronistic high-wire bicycle Roland uses to travel around it. It’s a low-key book, its ideas weighty but meant to be sifted through slowly.

THE GRENDEL SAGA
Part Five: The Last of Clan Veraghen

Aside from being a strong action-adventure story, GRENDEL: WAR CHILD enhanced the Grendel mythos in two ways. First, it gave us Grendel-Prime, the ultimate Grendel, a cyborg killer redeemed by his unwavering loyalty. Sure, the concept of the Khanate is arguably bad, but you still root for Grendel-Prime to reach his objectives. Second, the book gave us Susan Veraghen, a formidable Grendel who is so much more, since she allows love to guide her actions as much as her Grendel code does. She is the most accessible, sympathetic character Wagner has written.

So, in spite of promising a review of BATMAN/GRENDEL and BATMAN/GRENDEL II, I’ll deal less with Grendel-Prime this time, focusing instead on Susan.

GRENDEL TALES: HOMECOMING by Pat McEown and Dave Cooper. Dark Horse Comics. $7.95
This is an interesting case where it appears McEown, artist on GRENDEL: WAR CHILD, was so taken with the character of Susan that he wanted to write her another story. And joining him for the ride is good friend Dave (WEASEL) Cooper to paint McEown’s art and add lettering. So you get the slime and grime and strange graphitti of Cooper’s solo work, but over McEown’s more realistic style. The story itself is a simple one, and like WAR CHILD, steeped in action movie conventions. After feeling so used by both former lover Crystal Kennedy and Grendel-Khan Jupiter Assante, Susan Veraghen returns to her home town. She finds the town being run by “Orion’s Bastards,” a gang of faux Grendels led by the hulking Buster. A real Grendel like Susan, who won’t put up with bullying and injustice, stands out as a troublemaker immediately. The fireworks are imminent. But before they go off, Susan rekindles an aborted romance with a shy girl she knew back in school. Not so shy now, Avril is a prostitute and drug addict working for Orion’s Bastards, but their doomed love is for real. As Matt Wagner did depicting the romance of Hunter and Jocasta Rose, McEown manages to make it resonant in a minimum of pages. And of course, convention dictates that Avril dies, and so she does, making Susan’s lust for revenge that much more demanding. Buster learns the vast differences between a true Grendel and a pretender, and the Bastards will cause no more trouble in this town. It’s a good-looking, dramatic revenge story that also serves as an important bridge between GRENDEL: WAR CHILD and the following novel.

GRENDEL: PAST PRIME by Greg Rucka and Matt Wagner. Dark Horse Comics$14.95
Picking up somewhere after the events of HOMECOMING, though not explicitly referring to them, Rucka writes this Wagner-illustrated short novel about Susan Veraghen’s search for Grendel-Prime. Jupiter was assassinated on her watch, and she feels responsible. Her feelings of guilt are exacerbated by her not committing ritual suicide, as the other Grendels did to express their grief. If she’s not a Grendel, what is she?

Her inner turmoil is reflected in the world around her, as Grendels are now no better than street gangs, and almost universally hated. No one is left to carry on the Grendel code. Susan looks for Grendel-Prime because she knows he alone is incorruptible. Perhaps if she finds him, she can again find direction and peace of mind.

Her search takes her to Nepal, where, after an exciting fight with some fake Grendels, she meets a woman named Mace, a shady procurer who knows the possible whereabouts of an energy sword that, to Susan, sounds like the one used by Grendel-Prime, though she doesn’t mention his name to Mace. The two women make an arduous trek through Asia, avoiding some mysterious Grendels in helicopters at one point, and arguing about the merits of the Khanate. Mace hates all it stands for, seeing just the fascist side and the thuggishness of the corrupt Grendel gangs and not the value of the Grendel discipline. Seeing Susan in action, she tells her she’s better than any Grendels for being human and brave. She thinks Susan has been living a lie and wasting her life. And what better way to end an argument than passionate sex? Though it’s not as clearly doomed as the Susan/Avril pairing in HOMECOMING, the philosophical differences put an end to the Susan/Mace love affair, especially when Mace finds out Susan is looking for Grendel-Prime. The break-up is wordless, Mace slipping away in the night, but it soon turns to betrayal. And yes, Susan does find Grendel-Prime, who is letting himself run down. Despite his great sacrifice to become this cyborg creation, he has had enough, and has no purpose in his life. He and Susan, then, make a fine pair, two suicidal relics of a nobler age, and somehow, together, they do find a reason to go on.

Rucka produces an interesting tale with very good, consistent characterization of Susan Veraghen. Having yet another doomed love (the third in three stories featuring the character) is a bit redundant, but worthwhile in that he has more room to develop the romance than Wagner or McEown did on their stories. He also presents a brilliant new facet to Grendel-Prime, showing that if one has just a shred of humanity left, that shred will eventually suffer doubts. GRENDEL fans should be well pleased with the book and the treatment of characters—and the Nepali setting is novel—and it’s also a nice opportunity to see Wagner work in black-and-white again.

Next time, I think we’ll cover the BATMAN/GRENDEL and BATMAN/GRENDEL II two-parters by Wagner. The first feature the Hunter Rose Grendel, and I’d actually forgotten about their existence until this week, or I would have covered them in the Hunter Rose chapters. However, it should work out fine with Batman to link them, and in fact BATMAN/GRENDEL II, featuring Grendel-Prime, refers to the events of the first. I’ll also probably review GRENDEL QUEST, a one-shot by Wagner that originally ran as short backup stories in various GRENDEL TALES miniseries. It’s a kind of prequel to BATMAN/GRENDEL II, though interesting on its own.

And now, again replacing Full Bleed, but in that feature’s passionately irreverent spirit, I gone and done me one of them Best of thingamajigs everyone’s doing at this time. I think you’ll at least find this one different.

THE BEST OF 2002: ONE MAN’S HUMBLE EXPERT OPINION
We all like lists, making and reading them. Quantifying and quality the work of others, shoving it into slots, feeding our egos. But one of the many great things about me is just how ego-free I am. Kidding. Anyway, I wanted to do this list partly to put the year’s comics in some personal context, and partly to let remind you of some good books that maybe didn’t get as much attention. It’s never been easy for me to pick an absolute “best” of anything, so I’ll just list a few choices for each category and what I liked about them, without an official ranking. Some of the categories will be unusual, which should be part of the fun, and I’ll even throw one last coat of mud on a few of the year’s stinkers. So, since I’m bound to blather on, let’s get started.

By the way, I’m writing some of this in a twitching, foaming, day-job-related rage.

BEST LOOKING-GIFT-HORSE-IN-MOUTH-AND-STEALING-HIS-TRANQUILIZERS MOMENT: Joe Casey, in his story for the Dark Horse anthology book, REVEAL, wherein he looks at his opportunities on UNCANNY X-MEN and ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN as bothers taking time and sales away from his smaller superhero book WILDCATS. The commercial disappointments are not his fault, nor did his self-described drug binge play a part, at least in this memoir. Comic World News carried an interesting Casey interview earlier this year, where he did admit to some mistakes on his part in writing UNCANNY, though. Curiously, the drug binge admission seems to have been removed from the interview.

BEST ISSUE: Y: THE LAST MAN #1 by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra. Vertigo/DC Comics.
The first issue is a primer for would-be comics writers in pacing and introducing your characters and premise. There’s a ton of information given here, but even not knowing all the answers, what’s there is never confusing, and the art, while not exciting, suits the story well. I like Yorick a lot, and was instantly taken with the premise of him being the last man on Earth. Not an original premise, but the execution is, and it’s very well thought-out as well. Runner-Ups: FORLORN FUNNIES #1 and BASTARD SAMURAI #1. Yeah, first issues are the ones that stood out this year, over any “special” issues in the middle of ongoing series, or the conclusion of story-arcs, etc. FORLORN #1 was a stylistic tour de force for creator Paul Horneschemeier, as impressive in art, design and range as anything this year, though without quite the emotional substance he would find in issue #2. For that matter, I could’ve nominated that issue, huh? I have no doubt FORLORN will be nominated for a few things next year. BASTARD SAMURAI #1 was my favorite up until Y came out. Artistically, it’s perfect, with Kelsey Shannon’s explosive animation style inked by Oeming, with the most electric colors of any book this year. The story by Miles Gunter and Oeming is delightfully overcranked martial arts madness, with a bonus backup story that really does feel liked added value. No complaints about it; it just got edged out.

BEST NEW SERIES: Y: THE LAST MAN.
Vertigo finally has another wide-appeal hit on its hands with this one. Heck, even my wife laughed at the Washington Monument penis joke, and she hates comics. Guerra is a good, straightforward artist. She’s not flashy but her storytelling is efficient. The real star, though, is Vaughan, who takes a decent science fiction premise and really works out a number of realistic angles to it. It’s an exceedingly well-crafted, intelligent and funny book, with a number of surprises that feel right, not like shocks for the sake of being shocking. Runner-Ups:FORLORN FUNNIES by Paul Horneschemier is the new ACME NOVELTY LIBRARY; beautifully drawn and human. With only two issues, it’s harder to get a complete read on it yet, but I have a feeling the current storyline will be an essential graphic novel when collected. X-STATIX by Peter Milligan and Mike Allred picks up right where X-FORCE left off as a brilliant celebrity satire. Occasionally, the biting humor diminishes the emotional heft. 21 DOWN by Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray and Jesus Raiz, about a guy whose power is being able to see people’s deaths, is another good premise given thoughtful treatment, and Saiz is a crackerjack artist. GOTHAM CENTRAL by Greg Rucka, Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark is instantly one of the best books for mainline DC, a smart ensemble cop show on paper. PARADIGM by Matthew Cashel and Jeremy Haun has incredibly rich, moody black-and-white artwork and an almost impenetrably dense story. The kitchen sink approach makes each issue a challenge, but I’ll take ambition and creators itching to unburden themselves over cold calculation any day. Also like FABLES, AUTOMATIC KAFKA and the latest iteration of WILDCATS quite a bit as well.

BEST ANTHOLOGY SERIES: METAL HURLANT from Humanoids Publishing. This book lets genius Alejandro Jodorowsky spin a couple new serials as well as featuring popular American comics creators taking cracks at science fiction and horror. And the Fred Beltran pin-ups are sweet, as is his work on “Megalex.” As with any anthology, there are a few misses, but it’s got some of the best art around, on the heaviest paper stock. Runner-Up: Not sure if it’s exactly an anthology book, but it does rotate creators every issue or two—SPIDER-MAN’S TANGLE WEB. Some fun and unusual work here, reminiscent in range to BATMAN: LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT, but less reverent.

BEST ANTHOLOGY BOOK: HAPPY ENDINGS edited by Diana Schutz. Dark Horse Comics. Reviewed here, this was a fully satisfying anthology of stories based on a simple but fertile theme. Not a bad story in the batch, and a brief but powerful reminder that Frank Miller isn’t completely nuts. Runners-UpCAPTAIN AMERICA: RED, WHITE & BLUE from Marvel Comics had its share of misses, too, but was overall a pretty diverse group of stories from talented creators. Entertaining and not sickeningly jingoistic, though not that thought-provoking. Good selection of old Cap classics in there, too, reproduced beautifully. ROSETTA from Alternative Comics and BLAB! 13 from Fantagraphics Books are two handsome collections of art comics from some notable creators. BLAB, with several color pieces, is a little better in terms of beautiful, interesting art, while ROSETTA is perhaps more ambitious in pushing the boundaries of comics storytelling while still telling stories. Neither are overwhelmingly entertaining, but are beautiful objects able to provoke a good amount of thought.

BOOK THAT’S PROBABLY GREAT THAT I’M NOT READING:
100% by Paul Pope. Vertigo/DC Comics. Don’t get me wrong; I love Paul Pope’s work, and I’ve heard nothing but praise for this latest story. Which is why I’m waiting for the collection. Runner-Up: NO PASARAN! By Vittorio Giardino. NBM Publishing. I have the second volume of this graphic novel series about, well, read the description at the link provided above. I need to get the first one and then I’ll read and review. The artwork is gorgeous.

MOST DISAPPOINTING NEW SERIES:
HAWKMAN. I don’t know if going off to write and direct a movie (and write THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN adapted screenplay) had anything to do with it, or if Geoff Johns is calling the shots, or what, but James Robinson returned to comics with a barely audible whimper. We’d been hearing for a long time how hard these two were working to reconcile the convoluted history of Hawkman; how much they loved the character, etc. And while that’s probably true, I just didn’t find anything interesting going on here. The first story arc was dull; some bit about Ganeshan elephant gods being enslaved that sounds better than the execution. The prickly romantic stuff with Hawkman and Hawkgirl felt like a miscast movie, and issue #7’s STARMANish “Times Past” story in the Old West felt labored, and that was Robinson solo. I felt like if that was as good as it was going to get, it was time to mosey on. And I have. Not a horrible book, perhaps; just a misfire.

Runner-Up: XXX: LIVE NUDE GIRLS – Horrible book. If we blew the art up big enough, we could scare away alien invaders. However, if they deciphered the ugly, gutbucket writing, they might just disintegrate us out of mercy. Avoid this book unless you need a little push to go on a killing spree.

Why was XXX not the Most Disappointing, given my caustic words? Because I didn’t expect too much from it, compared to the more known and reliable Robinson pedigree. XXX has gotten a pro endorsement from Warren Ellis, but he liked ROSEMARY’S BACKPACK, too.

BEST COMICS-RELATED BOOK: THE COMICS JOURNAL LIBRARY: JACK KIRBY, edited by Milo George. I reviewed this here, so I’ll just say it’s a well-designed, balanced and insightful look at the Frank Lloyd Wright of comics. Runner-Up:THE COMICS JOURNAL WINTER SPECIAL 2002. Some great pieces in here, including a definitive interview with Jim (FRANK) Woodring, though I was less impressed with the comics section.

Next time, we’ll hit some of the big categories like Best Writer, Best Artist, Best Graphic Novel, Best Miniseries, and of course, Best Creator Online Meltdown. Stay tuned, Doug TenNapel fans!

Chris Allen

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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