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Breakdowns - Black Milk Refill

February 13, 2003

Back down from my magic writing tree with a brand-new column. Since Eddie Campbell was not able to continue his own EGOMANIA, I guess I’ll have to redouble my efforts. Just kidding, but what I mean is, I’m within just two or three weeks of celebrating my 100th Breakdowns column. No special plans as of yet, but I was thinking that if any of you had some comments, favorite bits, whatever, send me an email and I’ll try to include them.

Speaking of which, I think you can tell from the range of comics I cover that I’m not a snob or elitist, but I do find it both amusing and sad that I always get the most e-mail when I cover more superhero stuff than usual. Last week was pretty much all Marvel and DC, with a little CrossGen, and the last time I received this many responses was when I gave a mildly positive review to the first Loeb/Lee BATMAN.

Oh, and though last week’s column seemed to go over fine, it was really written very off-the-cuff. This was mostly intentional, but I didn’t have any time to look it over to revise things, so it resulted in a couple minor offenses. First, I failed to provide a link to go with my nice mention of The Comics Journal’s message board and Journalista! Blog, rendering the salute a little hollow. Sorry for that, and sorry I forgot to provide scans for CrossGen covers.

Second, the rapid-fire nature of my reviews last week (more summaries of my current feelings on recent issues taken together than reviews) meant I couldn’t elaborate on some comments, such as saying that J. Michael Straczynski writes a “lousy” Dr. Strange. Neilalien--and check out his site, it’s very good—-asked me to expound, since he’s a big Strange fan. I did, and being an e-mail, it was even more off-the-cuff, so take the following comments with the knowledge that I did say nice things about JMS’s run on ASM, too. It’s amusing to find myself quoting myself, with quotation marks:

“I'd be happy to comment. In fact, I normally hate reviewers who don't give details, but after all, I was clearly breaking my usual format to cover a lot of ground quickly. JMS is at times an outstanding writer, but I don't think he has a clue about Strange. Same old bone-dry, stiff, imperious type as so many write him, especially as a guest-star. The plotting was really bad as well, with Strange basically telling Spider-Man he's screwed, then leaving, with no tips on how to survive, make things right, etc. Lazy.

“It's not that JMS is inconsistent with past takes on Strange, but rather that he doesn't bring anything new to the table, certainly nothing that suggests he'll revive interest in Strange in the mini-series he's (supposedly) writing.”

I also added a paragraph of my own ideas for what to do with the character, but I’d rather not just give them away. And that’s not saying they’re brilliant; they seem pretty obvious to me, but no one ever does anything similar.

This week we’ve got quite a few Oni reviews sprinkled among the recent other stuff, including Christine Norrie’s CHEAT and Jay Stephens’ ATOMIC CITY TALES VOL 2: DOC PHANTOM, the latter of which isn’t out until late April, I think.

CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE by Brian Wood and Becky Cloonan. AiT/PlanetLar. $9.95

“…like some bad dystopian sci-fi novel.”

I’m not as avid a non-fan of Wood’s as some, and in fact I enjoyed COUSCOUS EXPRESS and the beginning of POUNDED. The key to this is that as silly, and at times problematic, as they were, they were first and foremost entertainments, not polemics. There was no pretense of deeper meaning. Brian Wood is a 31-year-old college freshman with a rage against the ATM machine that’s dispensing cash to him. The angry former youth rifling through books and newspapers, cutting out provocative phrases before he’s absorbed the original context of the information. Pull his string and hear the voice chip of anarchy.

If you liked the first CHANNEL ZERO, and many did, then there’s no need to read on.

Now that they’re gone, let’s discuss the good premise of the book and the ways in which it quickly goes wrong. The premise is to show how Jennie 2.5 from the first book actually got to be this influential cyberrevolutionary, and so we see here that she started as an art school student, learning craft but not investing her work with passion or social relevance. So far, not bad at all, though it must be said that this actually comes after some gorgeously drawn but lazily written pages about “the summer of the Clean Act,” when NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani sends the police out to beat up a lot of hip young people for…some reason. Calling them “stormtroopers” is hackneyed writing, but the whole structuring of this scene is just as badly thought out. If you want the reader to be drawn into this tense scene, a city set to explode from riots and fascism, shouldn’t you express this with some urgency? If the camera doesn’t care, why should we?

From this point on, we see a wearisome exercise in the new movement of unconstructionism. This differs from the deconstructionism of, say, Warren Ellis comics, where there is an actual story, it’s just stretched out a bit. Unconstructionism seems to be a challenge to get to the end of a book without having any kind of story at all. That first Jennie scene described above misses the mark when she decides that, because of how bad Mayor Rudy is being, she shouldn’t turn in her technically good college art project, but instead turns in something designed to offend. We never get to see what it is, so there’s no way for the reader to be inspired. It just seems like Wood couldn’t think of anything profound. So, Jennie is offensive, and because of this, we should like her, I guess.

As in CHANNEL ZERO, Wood sets up straw men so hamhandedly that you feel sorry for them for having to act in this drivel. A “cleaner”—a special police officer above the law—shoots a graffiti artist in the head, and a horrified Jennie knows what she must do. She must…give up her cds. And also, she must give up sex (awfully tightassed anarchism from the Woodman), renouncing Kurt, the poseur who likes pussy, music, and God forbid, money (though she’s not above asking her mom for some dough in the very next scene). This may or may not be a misfiring slam at Kurt Cobain, who knows?

It’s frightening that no one thought to ask what Wood was thinking throughout this muddled agitprop. Surely Giuliani is not merely the Saint of 9/11, but perhaps some facts and statistics could have been used to expose him here, rather than the laughable plotting that has him authorizing police to murder graffiti artists, or to waste time harassing art school smart alecks. I mean, sure, we all want to go back to a more dangerous, dirty, homeless-plagued NYC, but let’s be fair, huh?

The ending comes, mercifully, with a hilarious speech by The President that is somehow more religiously intolerant than Dubya has ever been, and so we can easily dismiss it. And Wood can’t even do the one-sided anti-Fascist thing well. A news report near the end says the police are stretched thin trying to maintain order, and large scale police violence and brutality is on the rise. Well, if everyone is rioting, what other choice is there? Is Jennie/Wood really advocating anarchy? Wouldn’t that mean we can all just steal the GRAND THEFT AUTO games he helped design? Or, just steal the autos themselves, live the game, right? Anarchy is as childish a solution as “let’s all just love each other.” Why is it that those who advocate a violent uprising for a better tomorrow never have children they need to keep safe during said uprising? There’s nothing about this book that doesn’t demand ridicule.

Except the art. Wood, as always, knows other people’s talent when he sees it, and Becky Cloonan does fantastic work here, rich, passionate and sexy. If this is but one lichen-covered stepping stone to better stories and a bigger career, then this would almost be worth it.

COURTNEY CRUMRIN AND THE NIGHT THINGS by Ted Naifeh. Oni Press. $11.95

“She knew she wasn’t going to be Miss Popularity, but thus far, a full three weeks after her arrival, she still had no friends at all…

“At least, none who hadn’t been eaten.”

Courtney’s world is turned upside when her social climber parents move in with an elderly uncle to be closer to that town’s moneyed circle. See, the uncle is rich, though eccentric and reclusive, so they’ve got their work cut out for them. This hectic schedule of sucking up leaves Courtney largely alone in the foreboding mansion, as well as at high school, where she’s an instant outcast. Not only does the cool clique make fun of her, they take her lunch money, too, and that’s the last straw. When she finds there’s some kind of monster or demon in the forest, she consults a big book of spells in her uncle’s study, figuring out how to make the demon do her bidding, which is to eat her oppressors. I remember when this came out some people complained that this wasn’t really appropriate for kids. And it isn’t, for little kids. Neither is MONSTERS, INC., which my three-year-old loves even while it gives him nightmares (we’ve put it away for a while after learning this). Really, Courtney’s solution to this bully problem is, within the context of the story (these kids are really horrible to her), acceptable and even funny. It’s like a Grimm’s fairy tale. And Naifeh justifies the darker tone by using it responsibly. For example, Courtney’s next act is to cast a spell to make her attractive to everyone. Her parents give her the attention she craves, her schoolmates like her, and the most popular boy wants to date her. But she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and realizes how fake it all is, and reverses the spell (with some help from her mage uncle, who’s been watching her progress), becoming the miserably neglected girl again. It’s her humor and strength of character that makes the whole thing work. It’s a fun book, more thoughtful than one might expect.

Note: COURTNEY CRUMRIN AND THE COVEN OF MYSTICS, the follow-up mini, has had two issues out already, if you’re interested. I like the trade paperback format, so I’ll review it when the time comes.

ATOMIC CITY TALES VOL. 2: DOC PHANTOM by Jay Stephens. Oni Press. $12.95

“No! I won’t do it! I won’t use my cartooning powers for evil! You can’t make me!”

Oni has collected the second batch of `90s ATOMIC CITY TALES issues for your enjoyment, these originally published by the now-defunct Kitchen Sink Press. Since that time, Stephens has honed his craft and learned to channel his prodigious talents into the snarky and surreal LAND OF NOD and the goofy and kid-friendly JETCAT CLUBHOUSE, as well as becoming a successful animator.

Here, we find Big Bang continuing to be a superpowered jackass, though without exploring the limits of his power much anymore. He generally just fights uglies in other dimensions rather than relating to his supposed teammates, but when he’s around, he’s annoying. His chronicler, Jay Stephens, has a conflict this time around when he’s asked by supervillain Doc Phantom to attend a bad guy party he’s throwing and draw what happens. What happens is BB gets wind of it and attends the party in disguise, before a member of the hired band he fathered a child with and abandoned recognizes him. Thus exposed, he has to mix it up with a house full of malefactors, so he splits himself off into various “Big” incarnations like Big Bat (vampire), Big Banzai (martial arts expert), Bangzilla (lizard) and Big Bug (admitted Spider-Man ripoff). The goofy superhero shtick combines with the boho single guy stuff like an odd but thoroughly enjoyable blend of MADMAN and HATE. Every page is amusing, and even back then, this art style of Stephens’ is nearly as fun as Mike Allred’s. Brilliant stupidity.

PLASTIC FARM by Rafer Roberts. Backup “The Hope” by Sean C. Duffey and Jake Warrenfeltz. Plastic Farm Press. $2.95

“And sitting on the floor just makes my ass all numb.”

“Y’know, I can help you with that.”

This appears to be the beginning of a sort of free-form epic story, though told in a hallucinatory but tongue-in-cheek style. We meet “The Kamikaze Kid,” who seems to represent the author in some respects: making mistakes but remaining resilient and ready with a wisecrack. It’s a confusing book but has some potential. I think the problem with this and many other self-published books is that the creators embark upon a huge saga without giving a complete, memorable story right at the beginning and expect the reader to just sign up for the journey. In fact, the story reprinted here is the “prologue” from a few years ago, with cleaned up art and a higher quality representation, but it’s a big gamble to expect the reader to stick with this juvenilia long enough to get to the more recent, and hopefully more technically accomplished, material. The next issue won’t even be out for several months. Maybe it would have been better to just start fresh and do a brand-new, complete story, with an inside cover text piece bringing readers up to speed.

GREAT APE by Patrick Neighly and Brahma. Mad Yak Press. $3.50

“Ms. Lamplighter! There’s a snake in my pants and I need your help!”

Well, you can’t say this monkey comic is unoriginal! In this story, primatologist Jenny Lamplighter has a strange monkey named Adam forced upon her by the government. She’s at a crucial stage with her own test monkey Ulu, and worries that introducing a stranger will have a disastrous effect, but she doesn’t have much choice. Soon enough, not only does she come to like Adam, but she finds that, well, Adam is God. Basically, after creating the world, God stepped out of our reality, and humanity has since evolved beyond Him. So He’s now an object of curiosity, a cute monkey with various powers. The scientist recognizes this, and with her boss, Professor Jim, they endeavor to find a safe place for themselves and this monkey deity. It’s an interesting idea for a story, and with exceedingly good art by Brahma, who applies Mignolaesque spotting of blacks to a cuter, kid-friendly style in a striking way, but it kind of peters out by the end. There are a lot of silent panels, sometimes not so funny gags and sometimes actions that could be conveyed in much less space. That’s really the main thing to work on for the future, the pacing, so that the next stories build up some suspense and a suitably exciting conclusion. It’s a pretty good start, though, and the team works well together.

RAWHIDE KID: SLAP LEATHER #1 (OF 4) by Ron Zimmerman and John Severin. Marvel Comics. $2.99

I was skimming a comics-related message board the other day, and found at least four different threads referring to this book. I didn’t read any of the staggering number of posts, but the sheer volume leads me to think people are making much ado about nothing, especially after reading this issue.

What we have here is an extremely traditional Western plot, where a bad man shakes up a town and the sheriff has to find the courage to stop him, with the help of a stouthearted gunslinger. The only difference is that the gunslinger, Rawhide Kid, is a fop and a sissy. He’s a swishy type, flamboyant and fashionable, and preoccupied with gossip. Like some gay guys I know, unlike some others. There’s nothing offensive here. Oh, there’s a hint that maybe he sampled Wild Bill’s Hickok once, but you don’t see anything. It’s really tamer than WILL & GRACE or any number of shows that aren’t saddled—no pun intended—with the EXPLICIT CONTENT label Marvel felt the need to put on. Actually, one good thing to be said of it is that Rawhide carries on a nice conversation with a group of boys, and there’s nothing predatory about it, nothing to reenforce the unfortunate stereotype of homosexuals as molesters. The bottom line is that the book has very good art from Severin, and unexceptional but serviceable writing from Zimmerman that is too concerned with working in references to Western/Frontier characters like Laura Ingolls and the rangers of LONESOME DOVE. I actually think the idea is a viable one, but so far he hasn’t done a lot with Rawhide to make me care.

THE CLOCK MAKER by Jim Krueger, Matt Smith, Zach Howard, Michael Halbleib, Brett Weldele and Guy Davis. Image Comics. $2.95

“I thought I was there because my father didn’t have time for me. And then I look at this place…

“And it seems like time is all they’ve left me.”

Krueger has carved an interesting career for himself, pushing the envelope of pretentious comics. That’s not entirely a criticism, as I think there does need to be writers like him, who have big stories to tell in their symbolism-infused heroic fiction. And because he has big ideas, and has had success with the EARTH/UNIVERSE/PARADISE-X series for Marvel, he attracts some very good artists who don’t want to have to do another pointless Elseworlds one-shot. In this case, we have an embarrassment of riches in Smith and Weldele, with Guy Davis having done the character and clockworks designs.

In this first issue, Astrid Bonn comes to Switzerland for her father’s funeral, only to discover she has inherited the immense clockworks he created, secreted inside one of the Alps. So it’s a “chosen one” kind of story, with Astrid as the innocent neophyte thrust into a magic and forced to sink or swim. In this case, the “magic” is all man-made, the vast, ingenious clockworks, and at this point we know nothing about its purpose. The stately pacing and large panels of this issue mean we really just get the setup without any action or clear goals to be accomplished (aside from assimilation). As such, I can’t call it a great issue in terms of writing, but the artists make it worthwhile. It’s unfortunate that in just the first issue, Smith apparently has to have fill-in artists on a few pages, but not knowing the facts behind this, I’ll try to remain optimistic that he’ll be able to keep it monthly with all his own work. And in case you didn’t know, this is an experiment in format, folding double-size pages in half to fit into a standard-sized comicbook. Unfolding to read it isn’t a problem, though you’ll find it doesn’t fold back very easily and will require a Mylar snug to lay flat. As Paul Weissburg has said, the onus is on the reader to buy this mixed blessing (big and pretty/cumbersome pages) in hopes the series is successful enough to convince Image to collect it into a tabloid-sized trade paperback like THE RED STAR. I’m not sure yet; things need to start moving a little more rapidly, though at least you can always tell with Krueger’s work that he knows where he’s going.

THREE DAYS IN EUROPE #3 (OF 5) by Antony Johnston and Mike Hawthorne. Oni Press. $2.95

Website/Solicitation copy: Things heat up for Jack and Jill, but not with each other! At the Paris art show, Jack’s caught the attention of the seductive Vivienne. While across the channel, Jill’s on the arm of Pete Dollar, Jack’s rock idol. It’s international affairs of the heart in this lauded new miniseries.

I’m kind of getting where Johnston is coming from now. It’s decidedly not a frothy romantic comedy, despite the wild plot machinations and hard-to-swallow contrivances. Instead, Johnston seems to be taking some inspiration from Billy Wilder, adding darker shadings and sexual misadventures to make their eventual rapprochement harder-earned and therefore more dramatic. I applaud this, and yet, unfortunately, it remains a contrived romantic comedy that’s not romantic or funny, and co-starring an adulterous, overbearing clod you don’t really want to see make up with the appealing girl. Let’s imagine the film cast with Renee Zellweger…and Patrick Warburton, the guy who played Puddy on SEINFELD, and you can see one of the big problems.

CHEAT by Christine Norrie. Oni Press. $5.95

In this graphic novel, a married couple find their bond challenged and possibly shattered by her one night of infidelity, brought on in part by his extensive absences as a travel writer. While some of the plotting is a little suspect (why would the other wife let her husband spend so much time with our heroine if, as it turns out, she knows he’s a habitual adulterer?), most of it works quite well, setting up the moment of passion as two decent people quite naturally being drawn to each other to satisfy the needs their own spouses aren’t fulfilling. Norrie carefully creates appealing and three-dimensional characters, and it makes the revelations about them dramatic and effective. The reactions of the characters to the climactic reveal of the affair are realistic, and the ending, while bleak, feels right. Norrie joins Andi Watson as one of Oni’s premier tellers of quality stories of real people and real emotions.

MAGIC PICKLE by Scott Morse. Oni Press. $11.95

“You could be an agent of evil.”

“Are you serious?! I’m wearing footsie jammies here.”

Young Jo Jo Wigman really just wants to kiss Danny Johnson, but now she’s got this sentient, superpowered pickle bursting through her floor. Weapon Kosher has been reactivated to deal with the menace of the Romaine Gladiator, Chili Chili Bang Bang and the rest of the fearsome Brotherhood of Evil Produce. It’s a sweet adventure story and superhero spoof full of bad puns and a clueless, stiff but nice hero in the mold of Buzz Lightyear. Morse draws in his most charming art style, and the whole thing succeeds perfectly.

PORTRAITS FROM LIFE by David Collier. Drawn & Quarterly. $12.95

“Archie began to write down some of the images and thoughts that emerged from the open, glowing stove. And he was a beautiful writer! He wrote about: ‘…A land of shadows…a region of soft-footed creatures going their noiseless ways over the carpet of moss.’”

In this, his second collection of biographical stories, Collier exhibits remarkable growth in his drawing and writing. His previous stories were always interesting, no matter the subject matter, but here he finds greater emotional heft. The first story has a former trainer tell the story of 1928 Amsterdam Olympics Women’s High Jump record breaker Ethel Catherwood, a tall, natural jumper whose Olympic fame led her to be a bit of a libertine. There’s a bittersweet quality to this one, and it’s a good lead-off to the collection, since Collier doesn’t choose his subjects merely because he admires them. Or, if he admires their accomplishments, as he does with the once famous, then disgraced and forgotten author Grey Owl, he doesn’t shy away from the disagreeable elements of the subject’s history or personality. Grey Owl, in fact, was an Englishman who took on the guise of a Native American out of genuine interest in the people, but his deception cost him his reputation. If he was merely a good English author, he might be remembered and read more today, but his exposure stamped his good work with the label of “fraud.”

Collier treats his grandfather Richard as any other subject, which is not a criticism, since all the subjects are treated with respect; a heroic figure (former Royal Marine) prone to the eccentricities of old age both typical (argumentative) and atypical (loud, public proclamations on the joys of masturbation.

Collier mixes the more personal with his usual scholarly work, with a couple of vaguely connected stories, the first detailing a little more of the wayward youth we saw in JUST THE FACTS, especially his experiences in the early 80s with extasy. This leads into a comics bio of Humphrey Osmond, a contemporary and associate of author Aldous Huxley, and a leading proponent of LSD experimentation. Like the previous book’s Edison story, this one is also about an otherwise brilliant man following his own instincts and obsessions to some form of self-destruction.

Finally, he concludes with his most riveting piece, a fascinating story close to home. This is the tragic account of David Milgaard, who has been falsely imprisoned all his adult life for the rape and murder of a Saskatchewan woman when he was passing through town at the wrong time. Amazingly, the trail of evidence led right to a house where he was briefly staying, and the police ignored the real killer, a married man who rented downstairs. The piece is reminiscent of Crumb adapting IN COLD BLOOD, adding odd details and visual humor to the dreadful chain of events. An illuminating work that is one of the best and most accessible examples of comics that are educational, mature and entertaining.

Full Bleed – Whining for Mommy

Rich Johnston has chosen a tough job for himself, tracking down comics industry rumors and suffering the slings and arrows of a small and often socially awkward industry when the rumors draw blood. And because the rumors are often unfounded or the truth substantially different, he takes heat for not being a responsible journalist. Even when stories are given to him from the horse’s mouth, he’s been known to exaggerate the facts to make them juicier. And this week, he brings his dubious journalism and the soft instincts of interviewing comics people craving any sort of attention to his Waiting For Tommy column for Dynamic Forces.

See, while he’s conducted some very nice work interviewing raconteurs like Grant Morrison, it’s a whole different task to interview Marvel bigwig Bill Jemas. Jemas certainly likes attention himself, but he’s not dependent on it. He comes to the interview with his abrasive persona and obvious disdain for online columnists in place, and Rich…well, Rich just falls apart, acting like the kid who invites you to play in his house and then throws a hissy when you don’t play with his toys the right way. It’s really kind of funny to see Johnston throw what he thinks are really devastating blows and Jemas basically respond with a, “Who are you, again?” Also, suggestions that AGENT-X was some sort of hit, doing much better than other X-relaunces like SOLDIER X, is just not true, and show a disturbingly personal take on facts, since Johnston is an admitted admirer of the book. And wasn’t it Johnston himself who reported CrossGen’s bookstore promotion wasn’t so successful, with many Barnes & Noble’s refusing to put up the displays they received, and many that did finding the books standing there unsold? Rich starts off looking like he’s got a pile of water balloons to douse Jemas with, and you realize many of them are just filled with air and a gob of spit. These past columns are always good reading, but this time he came up short, silly, and the epitome of the irrelevant, fulminating online nerd.

Next week: More of my irrelevant, fulminating nerdism, plus reviews of a little more manga than usual.

And since I can’t review every damn thing, I just wanted to mention that three of my favorite books from last week were:

QUEEN & COUNTRY: DECLASSIFIED #3 (OF 3)
by Greg Rucka and Brian Hurtt. Oni Press.

VERTIGO POP! LONDON #4 (OF 4) by Peter Milligan, Warren Pleece and Philip Bond. Vertigo/DC Comics.

ONE PLUS ONE #4 (OF 5) by Neal Shaffer and Daniel Krall. Oni Press

PUNISHER #20 by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon. Marvel Comics.

The first three are concluding-or-soon-to-conclude miniseries, and the latest PUN is the middle of a great arc about corrupt cops. All highly recommended, but I just can’t devote the time to reviewing them again. Check them out yourself.

Chris Allen

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