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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

Breakdowns - The Fill-In Issue

April 17, 2003

Hello, Poop Shoot readers! Once again, this is not the more attractive Chris Allen. Sadly, he developed a terrible sunburn and rash while enjoying the shores of Hawaii, so he's called forth his Justice League Of Fill-In Reviewers to help him out. So I, Marc Mason, humble shoeshine boy, am back sitting in his chair...on a phone book, so I can reach the table. Chris is seven feet, four inches tall, don't you know! Anyway, this week we have an even bigger look at some comics you might have missed, thanks to the addition of a couple of friends. In fact, I'm merely content to play Mr. Rourke, your host (or Tom Sawyer, depending on your perspective) thanks to these guys' quality work! See you at the bottom of the page!

ULTIMATE X-MEN VOLUME FIVE: ULTIMATE WAR
By Mark Millar and Chris Bachalo
Published by Marvel Comics

While the vast majority of superhero crossover events feature storylines peripheral or even irrelevant to the main series they are spawned from, Marvel has to be given some small amount of credit for not only having this story intersect with its parent titles (particularly Ultimate X-Men), but even having it written by the regular writer of not one but both the titles that are crossing over.

More importantly, Ultimate War maintains the tension and excitement found in Ultimate X-Men and The Ultimates, and artistically improves on the X-Men title (frequently plagued by changing pencilers and inconsistent styles) quite a bit.

This was surprising, because the thing that had me most reluctant to pick this up, despite my unqualified enjoyment of the Millar's The Ultimates, was the choice of penciler. Chris Bachalo had a nice run on Uncanny X-Men a few years (and editors-in-chief) back with writer Steven Seagle, but his more recent Steampunk was perhaps the most incomprehensible comic book I have ever tried to read from a major American comics publisher.

For the most part, Bachalo sets aside his penchant for abstraction, instead adjusting his style to more comfortably complement Millar, who has worked with some of the best and most appealing superhero artists in recent history -- people like Bryan Hitch and Frank Quitely. Any reader comfortable with those styles and endeared to Millar's cynical-but-thrilling storytelling style is almost certainly going to like Ultimate War. Bachalo's style here is especially well-suited to rendering The Ultimates, and despite some minor reservations about Bachalo's approach, when the time comes for Bryan Hitch to move on from The Ultimates to other projects, I'd put Bachalo on the short list of possible replacements for the monthly title. If I were asked.

Ultimate War starts off with a bang as a terrorist attack destroys the Brooklyn Bridge, and definitively puts an end to post-11 September sensitivity to such occurrences. The event recalls Wildstorm's The Authority (which Millar used to write back when it was still worth reading), and firmly establishes the high stakes game that Magneto is playing -- an attack on humanity that quite logically pits the government-sponsored Ultimates against the X-men, who secretly were harboring Magneto but couldn't manage to keep him in their secret custody.

As I had feared going in, there were some problems with Bachalo's art. While there's a surprisingly effective sequence featuring a conversation between Janet Pym confronting Jean Grey's father as the Wasp tries to get a lead on where the X-Men might be hiding out, the action becomes muddled when it switches to a look at the mutants in their low-rent hideout. When Magneto launches an assault on The Ultimates, the actual full-page shot of Magneto in action starkly portrays Bachalo's worst instincts. The scene is all flash and no substance, and has therefore no impact other than that in the dialogue -- a high crime in a medium made up of equal parts words and pictures, but made all the more egregious given that we're dealing with an action-oriented tale. The rest of the sequence is very well handled, and the moment where Captain America vows to go after both Magneto and the X-Men comes off as dramatic and convincing, a somewhat extraordinary moment for a superhero comic in the 21st century. The impression I am left with is that Bachalo excels in the quiet moments, but sometimes loses his way when drawing scenes of intense action or drama.

As the tale moves into the final confrontation between the Ultimates and the X-Men, it's clear Millar's heart is more in fashioning a complement to Ultimate X-Men than to creating a standalone story that will equally satisfy readers of both titles. That's my polite way of saying the Ultimates kind of get the short shrift, as you might have suspected by the "Ultimate X-Men Volume Five" designation the trade paperback was given. The battle takes too long to get into gear, and is over much too quickly, although it does have some thrilling moments of confrontation between the Ultimates and the X-Men.

If I'd had my way (and I so rarely do with these things), we'd have had a more balanced meeting between the two teams. There's plenty of fodder for high-powered melodrama inherent in the conflict between the government-sponsored Ultimates and the mutants they are forced into conflict with, and of course Millar touches on this, but in the end that's secondary to advancing the plotline of Ultimate X-Men and establishing Magneto's return, and his rage.

So this is not quite the work I had hoped for - but it's still a dynamic action book that should thrill readers of Ultimate X-Men and at least satisfy Ultimates readers looking for something to tide them over in the long, long weeks between new issues. Grade: 4/5

Alan David Doane's reviews and commentary appear at Comic Book Galaxy. You can also drop him an email here.

AUTOMATIC KAFKA #8
Wildstorm Comics
When you hear the title Automatic Kafka, what do you think of?

Maybe a machine that once entered, turns you into a paranoid, oversized cockroach? Maybe a thousand monkeys typing away at early model word processors produced bad imitations of "In the Penal Colony"? Personally, I think of Joe Casey and Ashley Wood's foray into superhero nostalgia a bit like dropping your pants, having it swing in the wind, only to hear a "thwip" followed by a cold finger doing a routine examination. Bent over with someone's finger in you, not a good feeling.

The latest issue continues a trend of making little-to-no sense whatsoever, a non-sequitur from the previous issue, this time narrated by the man who had been supplying our title robotic hero with his fix, nanotecheroin. Something can be said for the way the narration plays out, on one side we have a fairly lengthy "goodbye cruel world" letter from Diesel Quake, involved with the politics of having been a super villain and the logistics of a post-superteam world, on the other, there's a disconnect in the imagery, following a dream sequence shoot-out and an appearance on a Saturday Night Live analogue. Sex and robots, too.

Lately the issues have all seemed like half stories, with a beginning, segments jumping all over the place, and no ending, no point, and no continuation in the next issue. This issue is no different. Makes you wonder whether or not Casey actually has some overarching story idea here, or if he's just throwing things out, making it up as he goes along.

Automatic Kafka (def.): a foreign object lodged in your rectum.

D. Emerson Eddy is a smooth Canadian madman. Write him at: D_Eddy

GENE FUSION A.D. 2310 #2
By Ivan Brandon, Neil Vokes and Jay Geldhof. Cover by Michael Avon Oeming.
Beckett Publications

Every time I hear the phrase "fun for all ages", I cringe. Not because I hate the genre in itself, but mostly because it brings to mind all the watered and dumbed down entertainment that is out there right now. Oh, it may say that it is "all ages", but only if that age falls between 5 and 12. So now knowing that, maybe you'll believe me when I say that this comic so far is a "fun, all ages" book done right.

If you haven't read the story so far, here's the gist: The year is 2310 (if you forget what year it is, refer to the title) and the most popular sport on the planet is a sort of gladiatorial duels between beasts that have been "fused" together. The title mostly focuses on the characters that create and fight them for profit. It's an imaginative concept. But does the story work?

The first issue of this book I thought was pretty well done, enough to warrant purchasing the second issue. I'm glad I did, because I enjoyed this one much more than the first. There's an exciting action sequence towards the beginning and the characters are likable and play well off each other. The focus seems to be on Elyssa, the young hotshot rookie but also on Ethan, the young boy who won a sweepstakes to be Elyssa's team's assistant. So far, Ethan hasn't crossed over into that stereotypical annoying young boy and comic relief character that we see all too often.

That brings us to the creative team. Ivan Brandon is doing a good job at keeping the book fun and enjoyable without pandering to the youngsters. When I say that anyone can pick up this book and enjoy it, I mean it. That can't be an easy task to accomplish. For one thing, a story geared towards all ages is usually pretty vacuous. Brandon is keeping things quickly paced and simple to understand, but at the same time, there is some solid character development. For examples, see the scene where Elyssa is upset for being sloppy. Or the bonding of Elyssa and Ethan.

Seeing the difference between Neil Vokes pencils on this and the recently released Parliament Of Justice show how versatile he is. This book allows him to display his clear, distinct line-work and his panels have a consistent flow and energy during the action sequences. Something should also be said for Giuila Brusco's colors. I'm color-blind and even I can see how colorful this book is. It certainly grabs your attention (although the gorgeous Oeming cover should have done that already).

For the most part I like edgier, more mature books. Because of that viewpoint or preference, I tend to forget how important it is to have books that just about anyone can pick up. Gene Fusion is one of those books. Kudos to the entire team for pulling off such a rare thing.

THE JOURNAL COMIC: July/August 2002
By Drew Weing

If I had a nickel for every daily/journal/sketchbook/diary comic that has been popping up lately, I'd... well, I'd probably have a few bucks at least. Anyway, Drew Weing has actually been doing this longer than most and is usually in there with James Kochalka and Todd Web when people discuss those doing it for the longest as well as the best.

In order for someone to have a journal comic worth a damn, you have to be either really interesting or really funny. Drew is at times both, but for the most part, it's mostly pretty humorous. You'll enjoy watching him do things that you do and say things that you say. Well, maybe you haven't done or said anything that he has done, but as a fellow somewhat bitter guy who enjoys his sleep, comics, friends and beer, I was able to identify with more than one of Drew's experiences.

Drew uses a heavier black line than most journal cartoonists out there and more of an emphasis on shadows than others. The result is a strip that looks like there was more effort put into it than a simple, "Hey, I'm gonna draw what happened to me today" and then do a rush job. The effort certainly pays off because the strips look amazing.

If you're a fan of any of the daily journal comics out there you should do yourself a favor and at the very least check out Drew's website. From there you can read some comics and buy some as well.

Derek Martinez is a fairly jaded, cynical guy who enjoys rambling about anything. Even though he fancies himself a ronin comics reviewer, he shares some of his more concise thoughts on comics and entertainment on his weblog entitled, The Ramblings of Derek Martinez. He currently resides in sunny California.

POVERTY #1 & #2
Written and Illustrated by Roxanne Bielskis
Self-published, for info e-mail Roxanne.

I'd originally reviewed the second issue of this fledgling autobiographical series on my Comic Book Galaxy review page, but after finally getting a chance to read the first issue recently, decided to give both books a going over, and to say they are as different as day and night is an understatement!

Bielskis is a new artist on the scene of autobio comics, and she has the talent to be perhaps one of its strongest creators, if one can judge from the material here. The first issue is a hodgepodge of work, it's strongest pieces being the autobio work wherein Bielskis encounters bizarre events or individuals who cross her life. Standouts include: "Music Memories", a nostalgic look at how certain events in her life resonate with music; the hysterical breakdown of a woman in the claustrophobic confines of "The Elevator"; and the look at "The Remembrance of Jasons Past", detailing the uncannily bizarre guys named "Jason" Bielskis has known. (Marc's Note: You stalking this woman, Marcy?)

It's with issue #2 though that the true autobio writer comes out, as Bielskis digs deeper into her personal life. She wonders why she can't seem to nab a boyfriend, questions her own self worth, and provides some laughter with the catharsis along the way. The stand out here has got to the untitled third story, illustrated with one panel per page and a text piece beneath it:
"I sometimes feel like nobody will ever really get the chance to know me. Including me, I guess. Have you ever found yourself shocked by your own behavior, by what you are really capable of? By what you are able to do or say to other people? I am."
And then we are treated to an in-depth, from-the-guts, confession of loneliness, alienation, and hope. We've all felt those things, but how many adequately ever express it? Bielskis does, and with more skill than even the most veteran of autobio cartoonists. It's an amazingly mature bit of work in an already strong book of material, and its serious nature is balanced by the humorous "Homostraightuals" (discussing effeminate men who are not gay), and the amusingly self-reflective "Not My Proudest Moment..." where Bielskis is forced to question just what it is she wants in a relationship when she turns down a coffee date with a cute guy in her building.

As an artist, Bielskis is an emerging talent trying to nail down a style, and the uncertain lines of the first issue have given way to a stronger, more assured layout and design for the second. There's a lot of room for growth, but one senses right from the nicely colored cover that the artist is finding her own way with the ink lines, and is developing into a fairly competent cartoonist.

These are two good books, the second issue a huge leap in artistic development. They've been flying off the indie shelves at Toronto's comic shop The Beguiling. Do yourself a favor and find out why!!

I AM GOING TO BE SMALL-TINY COMICS BY JEFFREY BROWN
Written and Illustrated by Jeffrey Brown
Self-published, check his website for info.

Another find in the great The Beguiling comic shop, Jeffrey Brown is perhaps known to many as the guy behind the autobiographical book CLUMSY and the upcoming "prequel" UNLIKELY. Here we get a collection of little sketchbook strips and other assorted doodles, both fictional and autobiographical.

At 96 pages, this little book weighs in quite well with Brown's funny observations and quips, some presented in a one panel gag style, others in a conventional newspaper strip format. All offer a unique look into the mind of this talented writer/artist, and it helps bridge the gap between his two graphic novels as well as perhaps introduce a new reader to some good work.

Brown proves himself to be a good gag strip writer, and the fact he sometimes is the drawn protagonist adds even more to the humor. Other bits seem like workout strips for his long-form work, as if he doodled these parts to maybe alleviate the tougher moments of producing an emotionally exhausting work like CLUMSY. It's a strongly and professionally produced little tome, worth the five bucks or so U.S. you'll drop on it.

As I have done with CLUMSY, I recommend you get this little treasure ASAP. It'll have you laughing out loud, and that's always a good thing!

Jason Marcy is the creator and artist of the autobiographical comic JAY'S DAYS. He's also Canadian, but that's no reason to be afraid of him. You can write him here.

LUPIN III VOLUMES 1-3 By Monkey Punch
TokyoPop $9.99 ea.

As one of Japan's most recognizable pop culture icons, spawning two lengthy manga series, hundreds of television episodes, dozens of movies (as well as other extraneous licensing properties), it was only a matter of time before the original Lupin III manga be published stateside. The premise is to combine the classic master thief of French novels, Arsene Lupin, and put him against the sexy spy craze of the late sixties (think Our Man Flint rather than James Bond) and render it to the style of Sergio Argones. In these first three volumes, we are introduced to Lupin III though a series of darkly hilarious self-contained tales. Monkey Punch writes extraordinarily complex stories that occasionally require a rereading to fully appreciate; not Alan Moore level complex but a deviation in some sense from the commonly held stereotypes of manga story structure as being simple, straight-forward and "decompressed" (to steal a phrase from Warren Ellis). Upfront in the introduction to the first volume, TokyoPop makes it clear that Lupin wears many hats be it thief, assassin, spy or mercenary; many would be put off a little by what can be seen as inconsistency of the character but I think that would be groundless because one thing that always remains constant is that whatever Lupin does, it is always self-serving. However, the thing that puts me off to the book is the amount of sex that is non-consensual on the ladies part. I use the term "non-consensual" rather than rape because afterwards the women reluctantly enjoyed it in an attempt to justify the action, a move that reeks of juvenile sex fantasies. Chalk it up to the "free love" era this came from, I suppose. Despite the missteps, Lupin III has aged remarkably well for stories over thirty years old. It remains a benchmark for the way a smart sex & violence comedy can be done.

Nick Capetillo is a former columnist and reviewer for Comic Book Galaxy and at one time proudly held the title "Chris Allen's Whipping Boy #1".

Ahhhhh. Very refreshing, wasn't it? Lots of cool sounding books to check out, one perhaps to avoid. Thanks to these four fellas for their time in putting forth some excellent reviews, and to you for reading all the way to the bottom. We didn't spare the words, now did we? Next week, you'll see the infinitely taller and more handsome Chris Allen back here in this space, while I'll be out on the golf course, waiting to see what he has to recommend next. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tee time to make, and some comics to go check out...

Marc Mason is an occasional Poop Shoot contributor. He writes the web column Happy Nonsense, and his collection of prose stories and columns, THE JOKER'S ADVOCATE, will be on book shelves later this year.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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