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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

October 21st, 2005

With the holiday season fast approaching, more and more we’re seeing the new release day being overwhelming as far as the pure possibilities on what to purchase. Well, sometimes, what may seem like a good idea really isn’t at all. Rather than have you be disappointed with a game, here at Game On!, I play even the small releases in order to find out if they are worthy for your collection or not. This week, we’ve got four titles recently released tat all beg to be played. But are any of them truly worth your time? Let’s take a look…

WORMS IS HELL

I’ll be honest. Before last week, I had never played a WORMS game before. Sure, I’m familiar with its turn based strategy deathmatch action and colorful LEMMINGS like characters, but I’d never had the pleasure of experiencing them for myself. That is until the release of WORMS 4: MAYHEM, out now for Xbox. This newest chapter in the WORMS series adds a whole slew of weapons to its single and multiplayer modes, as well as a few cool creation modes as well.

Plot-wise, the single player adventure is a little weak. Suffice to say, you go on a “field trip” of sorts in order to do a little recon on your opposing Worm force and take them out. Thankfully, this is done in a variety of ways, not just your normal turn based killing sprees. There are sections where you must destroy sections of their bases, or even item collection as you evade their attacks. When selecting and using weapons or utilities (items used to get you around the stage faster), control is fairly intuitive, with charged attacks and balance for wind resistance, etc. However, when it comes down to the actual platforming elements, things start to fall a little flat. The jumps aren’t very responsive, and if you’re too close to a rock or something else directly in front of you while you jump, you’ll end up jumping BACKWARDS rather than forwards.

The multiplayer game offers up the main meat of the gameplay, where teams compete in several variations of the “deathmatch” theme. Again, it’s a turn-based game, so things tend to take a while. Sure, each player has a time limit on what they do, so things can keep moving, but once you complete a move, you have to wait for the animations of your opponent’s health point loss, death, or any other various animations that you can’t skip
until control reverts to the next player. Quick games don’t seem that quick here.

Still, there is a good bit of fun to be had. If you ignore the platforming headaches, there’s some serious action, and trying to find the coolest ways of picking off your enemy’s teammates is where most of the fun lies for this game, and the series as a whole, I’d wager. There’s a mode where you can create your own team of worms by selecting different hairstyles (worms have hair?), gloves (worms have HANDS?) and voice-styles (worms can ta…oh, you get the idea), as well as the ability to create your own weapon of mess destruction. There’s also a small gameplay editor that beefs up competition a good deal as well, where you can set your own rules for a match.

All in all, it’s a fun little game at a budget price that certainly fulfills any worm war fantasies you may have. The control could use some cleaning up in the platforming areas, and the camera can be a bit slow to control, but after all is said and done, it’s worth what you pay for it.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

DYNASTY KINGS, DEVIL WARRIORS

For five games and several other off-shoots, DYNASTY WARRIORS has held the corner on the “feudal warriors beating up hundreds of enemies on screen” market. Now Capcom wants a piece of the action with the release of DEVIL KINGS now on PS2, a game that offers…pretty much the same thing, just with a smaller base in reality than the DW games.

Here you take control of one of five initially selectable warriors (with five more unlockable after completing the game with each character), each with their own unique weapon set and moves. Then you unleash them into the fray of battle, cutting down any and every foe in your path. Battle is essentially glorified button mashing, as you wail on the controller linking up simple combos and multiple kills. You can switch the hits between you normal strikes and special moves, but there’s really not a whole lot of variety there with the move sets or animations, though admittedly, they do all at least LOOK cool. As you fight, you build up your Fury meter, which at the press of a button once it’s full, you can unleash a multi-hit attack to do some serious damage.

Characters have a range of weapons, with many having combinations of historic and futuristic weapons. You’ll see a female warrior with two shotguns, for example. You’ll often see weird combinations of axes and lasers, weird spinning discs on yo-yo tracks and
more, all to complete the “out there” feel of each character. And while each character has their own storyline, told through 2D and 3dD cut-scenes (the 2D anime scenes are generally specific to whatever area you’re conquering with whatever character at that time, which is nice) they are certainly “out there” – some characters just defy strangeness, like the assassin Venus, who instead of killing her metrosexual target, instead falls in love with him and fights by his side, with soft filters on the lens and roses blooming around the edge of your screen. Yeah, it’s wacky.

And while there’s certainly a variety of stories and characters to play through with, the actual gameplay as a whole is pretty damn monotonous. Move forward, fight all, move again, and fight more. Lather, rinse, repeat. If there were more variety in the moves it may not seem like such a repetitive game. As it stands though, it’s just a diversion for DYNASTY WARRIORS fans to slog through until the next chapter in the series.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

QUICKSHOTS OF THE WEEK

The first of our two Quickshots this week is the sequel to last year’s stellar WWII FPS, BROTHERS IN ARMS: ROAD TO HILL 30. This time around, picking up right after the events of that game is BROTHERS IN ARMS: EARNED IN BLOOD, out now for Xbox and PC, and out next week for PS2, where players again take the role of “Red” as he leads his paratroopers into battle against the Germans. The control is once again top notch, as well as the story aspects, and there’s the inclusion of two player co-op skirmish
modes along the normal online and offline versus events. The “Situational Awareness View” is helpful in tracking where the enemy lies in wait, and for planning out how you’ll command your troops to lay down suppression fire and flank your foes. The enemy AI is also improved, with characters seeking cover and laying down their own suppression fire against you. Oddly, however, when taking a shot, there’s seems to be a weird pause before a shot is fired when the game seems to freeze, but maybe it’s just my copy. Overall, it’s a good, realistic FPS for WWII fans.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

The next title, however, doesn’t fare nearly as well. LA RUSH, out now for PS2 and Xbox takes the open environments of the MIDNIGHT CLUB series and attempts to mesh them with the RUSH series from arcades. What we get is an odd mix of sloppy story and even sloppier controls. Sure, the city is large and free-roaming, with plenty of race options between normal dashes for cash, “stunt” races where you collect tokens for more
time, or the odd race against damage of your retrieved stolen cars, but where are the ramps, hills and secret paths that made SAN FRANSICO RUSH such a hit back in the day? That, coupled with the floating controls for every car, craptastic voice acting and unnecessary WEST COAST CUSTOMS “Pimp My Ride” tie-ins make this one simply a renter. You’d be better of getting last week’s MIDWAY ARCADE TREASURES 3 for the classic versions of RUSH than this one.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

Well, that rounds out the week once again, dear readers. On deck for next week we have BLITZ: THE LEAGUE (which Jack Thompson mistakenly thinks the NFL wants to distance themselves from, not knowing that EA has the exclusive rights to the NFL and all it’s licenses) and DOOM 3: RESURRECTION OF EVIL, the expansion to the awesome (and scary as shit) DOOM 3. Plus, whatever else I happen to get my grubby little paws on. Until then, friends…Game On!

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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