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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

February 24th, 2006

Before we get into this week’s gaming goodies, I just want to give yet another shout-out to our friends and former site-mates over at www.comics101.com. If you haven’t been there yet, be sure to check it out, they’re doing some fantastic work over there, and they’re sure as shit missed over here.

This week, as usual, we’re looking at some new releases, one from a few weeks ago, and one due to hit stores next week. No silly intros this week, let’s just get into it.

BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK

A few weeks ago, I took a look at a short demo for BLACK, and I was impressed with the amount of destruction one could cause, but was disappointed by the shortness of the demo overall. It whet my appetite just enough, but still left me wanting more. Now that the game is being released next week, and I’ve managed to get my hands on a final copy, I feel sort of the same way. Satisfied with what I’ve played, but still wanting something more.

The game certainly has its fair share of guns and explosions. As a Black Ops merc-for-hire, your basic objective each level is to wipe out everything and everyone in your path in a hail of bullets. Basic structure, but damn is it ever fun to execute. Wood splinters, metal deforms and everything just explodes with sweet lighting and particle effects. The game just looks…amazing. And to think, this is a current generation game…no 360 sweetness here.

The audio is also top notch. What little story there is (accented before each stage with a LIVE ACTION cut scene…wow, haven’t seen one of those in a while) is heightened by the stellar sound presentation of the musical score and dynamic sound effects. Every ricochet, every shrapnel sound, every explosion of metal on metal is captured perfectly. Even the explosions sound so…so damn explody. The game’s presentation here is second to none.

I’ll be honest, as many of you know, I’m not much of a FPS fan. That said, I have a blast with BLACK. It’s visceral, it’s vindictive, and it’s just flat out fun. Sure, there’s not much new here if you’re a hardcore FPS fan, but the effects (both visually and aurally) are spectacular. It could stand to be a little bit longer, and some folks would argue that the lack of multiplayer hinders the replay value, but overall, this is the most fun I’ve ever had with a shooter since the original DOOM.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

WINNING IS EVERYTHING

It’s been said that the WINNING ELEVEN series of soccer games are the best there are. With the series newest iteration, WINNING ELEVEN 9, it shows us once again that it can hold the title, but really only offers one new trick for the fans.

Sure, the game has the same stellar presentation. The audio an running commentary give you the play by play fantastically, though I think the two guys they’ve been using for the last three years should be replaced, as they seem to have run out of things to say at this point. Also returning is the option to play the game in English or Spanish, a definite plus for the hardest of the hardcore fans.

The control is still amazing, and one of the highlights of the game. Never have I played a game where I didn’t score any points (and neither did the opposition) and still had so much fun with it. The learning curve is still pretty steep, but the deep training modes will keep your skills up so you can hash it out with even the toughest opposition. The graphics detail the field action nicely, and the varied cut scenes of penalties and replays highlight the action well.

The thing is, these all remain essentially the same as last year. Despite a minor facelift and a few improvements to the licensed teams and the Master League mode, this is the same game you’ve played a year ago, other than one major addition: online play. Finally soccer fans from around the world can play…other soccer fans from around the world. It’s taken some time, but the addition of this is a great thing that’s been a long time coming.

Look, to put it simply, WINNING ELEVN 9 is the best soccer game out there, hands down. Fantastic control, great team selections, a deep ad customizable Master League option mode, and finally, online play make this game a sure bet.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

Short, sweet, and to the point this week kids. I got BLACK at the last minute, so I rushed this column out at the zero hour, hence its brevity. Now, it’s time for sleep, and more game next week. Until then, friends…

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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