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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

March 24th, 2006

After releasing the system a mere 4 months ago, we’re finally starting to see a steady stream of new releases for the Xbox 360. And while these are still first generation releases, some are shaping up quite nicely for the Next-Gen console. With Sony’s PS3 on the horizon (scheduled for a worldwide release this November) more and more titles should be approaching for Microsoft’s newest system, ones that will hopefully push the system’s processing power enough so we feel justified in our spending. This week, we take a look at a few of the newest games released for the 360. Some hold up to the Next-Gen standard, and some just get close, but don’t quite make it. We’ll also take a look at two new games in one of my favorite series, METAL GEAR. For the spring months, it’s surprising to have so much to play. Let’s get started.

REVENGE REDUX

As many of you may remember, I was a big fan of BURNOUT REVENGE when it was released last year for Xbox and PS2. It wasn’t quite a huge improvement over BURNOUT 3: TAKEDOWN, but the new things it added were well done, and it was just as addictive as before, so it got high scores. Now, with the game’s release on Xbox 360, I visit the title anew, and there’s a bit extra here than just a fresher coat of paint.

Sure, one of the first thing’s you’ll notice is how the visuals have been stepped up for HD. The cars are shinier, the paint actually chips and scrapes off the cars, and the wrecks just seem much more…stunning, really. In addition, the 360 version ads some extra “oomph” by including a slew of brand-new crash junctions, exclusive to this version of the game. This ads a bit more play time to the title, especially for those fans that’ve gone through it all before and know the ins and outs of every course in the game.

But it wasn’t just the single player that got some tweaking. Developer Criterion put some extra gas in the engine of the online game as well. Now you can track your rivals (folks who take you out in a race) with ease, as the system remembers who you’ve fought before, and who may have a vendetta against you. There’s also a new “clips” feature, where you can record your best crashes, and then upload them to EA’s servers to share your best wrecks with the world.

If there’s any faults with this title, it would be the same as the last time I reviewed it. The traffic attack is fun and it ads a new element to the wrecks (like sending a high powered missile at your opponents) but part of the fun of the original games was AVOIDING the traffic. Also, EA’s servers just plain suck sometimes. One game it’ll be silky smooth with races riding the ragged edge of break-neck, while others have you slamming into the rear end of foes, only to have them take YOU out while you later appear to drive through nothing and are suddenly told you’ve wiped out your rival. Still others have you instantly dropped out of a game before it’s even begun. When it works, it works well, but when it doesn’t, its maddening.

Still, there’s no faster, crazier and more fun Next-Gen racer out there than this. Sure, the cars aren’t real models, and the wrecks can be truly outrageous, but that’s all part of the fun. And yes, this game is just as addictive and adrenaline-fueled as before. It almost kept me from reviewing anything else this week, as I was too busy trying to get a gold medal in every event…again.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

FIT FOR BATTLE

If you prefer your destruction a little more…well, war-based, then look no further than THE OUTFIT, out now for the Xbox 360. Set during WWII, you enter the fray as one of three almost Superhero-like soldiers as you blaze a trail across Europe wiping out the Nazi threat. Using a unique “Destruction on Demand” feature, you can airdrop in troops, reinforcements, and even heavy artillery to use in your fight against the Axis of Evil.

The gameplay is fairly basic. Lead your troops as one of three heavy-hitting American soldiers across the landscape, shooting everything in sight. Capture enemy territory, set up bases, and repeat. It’s simple, and thankfully, it’s a whole lot of fun. This is thanks in large part to the game’s ease of controls, and the previously mentioned “Destruction on Demand”.

The DOD is, quite simply, a single button press that puts destruction at your fingertips. Need some anti-tank turrets? Just press the DOD and set them up. Need a quicker way across the landscape? DOD sends a 4X4 to you. How about a tank? Not only can you have one flown right to you, you can even choose to drop it ON your enemy.

Just about everything in the land is destructible, and you’ll end up blowing the shit out of everything you see. One drawback, however, is that some things take a good long time to destroy. One mission has you set off to wipe out three enemy strongholds. Using just the Crocodile (a tank with a flame thrower instead of a cannon) it takes a decent amount of time to burn down each building. Also, the targeting is a bit loose, as your reticule is rather large, but the to register a hit, your foe has to be in the exact center.

And while the graphics aren’t TOO “Next-Gen” looking, they are rather nice, with colorful expressive character models, and fine attention to the wanton destruction all around. This is just big dumb fun, and it doesn’t expect to be much more than that. Multiplayer just ads more to this idea, with sessions built around who can rack up the most debris or whatnot around. Sure, there’s deathmatch and co-op, but we like to destroy things, don’t we kids?

Still, the experience may be a bit too hollow for some. For example, the mission structures for the single player experience are all basically the same. Go forth, kill, capture, and repeat. And once you capture an enemy base, there’s really no danger of them reclaiming it, it only serves as a respawn point if you happen to die. Also, there’s really no real way to LOSE in the game. If you die, you respawn. Over and over. It’s a minor bit that will have some of the hardcore realists annoyed.

For the rest of us, however, it’s just some big dumb destructive good times all around. Fun characters (even the villains), fun weapons, cool explosions, and all the trimmings makes for one happy gamer…even if IS a little on the shallow end of the pool.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

SOLID EFFORT

For those of you who remember such things, 2004’s Game of the Year for this column was METAL GEAR SOLID 3: SNAKE EATER. Now, Konami has re-released the title with quite a few bells and whistles attached. Available in both regular and Limited Editions, METAL GEAR SOLID 3: SUBSISTENCE, out now for the PS2, is every MEATL GEAR fan’s wet dream.

Despite offering the entire SNAKE EATER game as a whole, folks who’ve trekked through that beautifully rendered and scripted title should take another look at it again here, as they’ve included a brand new camera mode for the game. Now that may not sound like much, but honestly, it makes a world of difference. Playing the game normally has you in an almost top-down view, but the game now incorporates a SPLINTER CELL-like 3rd person camera. This opens up a whole new realm for the player, as you can switch between traditional view and the new view on the fly (which honestly, you’ll want to in order to get the best look at your surroundings and enemies).

While that enhances the original gameplay, there’s a second disc included that provides some much needed back-story, as well as a tasty online mode. Provided here for the first time is the original MSX version of METAL GEAR (released here in the US on NES…in a much stripped down and badly translated form) as well as the never-released-on-these-shores METAL GEAR 2: SOLID SNAKE. These show how far back the survival game’s roots go, and even fill in the gaps of the story between the original and he beginning of the SOLID series on PSOne. And yes, METAL GEAR 2 was never available here in the US. All we got was SNAKE’S REVENGE…a sequel to the NES version of METAL GEAR…not the true sequel to the series.

The online mode is probably the one that will get the most play out of fans, however, as you can now take Snake through sneaking missions to friends across the country. You’ve got your typical deathmatch and team deathmatch frays, but the Sneaking mission pits one player as Snake, and the others (up to 7) as soldiers out to stop him. It may sound one sided, but Snake can use many items at his disposal to even the odds (such as issues of girly magazines…just as in the games, if you throw one in front of a foe, he’s FORCED to look at it).

There’s also a Demo Theater and an unlockable Secret Theater, full of the best moments of the game and the game’s website, respectively. You can revisit boss battles, and there’s even more missions for the kid-friendly SNAKE VS APE game as well. The limited edition includes the icing on the cake, however, as it features a third disc. Contained therein fans will find the entire SNAKE EATER game…cut together as a non-interactive movie.

As fantastic as the original game was, this version is the definitive METAL GEAR SOLID 3. It may be the third chapter of the SOLID series, but it actually gives you the first three parts of the METAL GEAR saga…chronologically, that is (MGS3 takes place before even METAL GEAR). With all the extras, you’ll have enough to tide you over until MGS4 comes out.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

PASSING THE AC!D TEST

Finally this week, we’re looking at another sequel. METAL GEAR AC!D was a launch title for the PSP system last year, and despite its bizarre layout (a METAL GEAR CARD game?) had fun moments, though some poor design flaws. Now, we’re treated to a sequel which proves to be more user friendly, and still has that taste of the bizarre to keep folks scratching their heads while others still just eat it all up like snake meat. Wow, that was a bad pun…

First and foremost, the art style has changed just a bit to a more cel-shaded anime style. The control has been tweaked too, making cycling through cards, and using the proper ones in your deck is much easier. Movement is also simplified, and once you breeze through the tutorial, you’ll have no problem at all grasping the controls and taking Snake through another adventure.

However, once you DO get a handle on the controls, it’s just about the same game as before. Sure, we don’t have murderous marionettes, but it’s a typically weird METAL GEAR storyline, with the AC!D touch…turn based card battles. There’s a decent amount of strategy needed here, but the action seems to be a bit quicker paced all around (it helps that there’s an option to speed up enemy responses).

One of the new “gimmicks” for the title is the new “Solid Eye” system, wherein you attach an included 3D visor to your PSP to play the game in three dimensions. Honestly though, it doesn’t really add too much to the gameplay other than eventual eye strain, but there are some perks. Occasionally, you’ll obtain some special “cards” or scenes that can be viewed in 3D…scenes that contain Asian women in camouflage massaging guns, or playing with knives, or just lounging on couches. Sure, it’s weird…but damn, it’s kind of nice.

Overall, it’s another side chapter that fits well into the MG universe, but one that only the hardcore fans will want to try, as the turn based card style really ISN’T for everyone. Sure, the interface is much easier now, and just about anyone can jump into a game, but the card part is still a turn off for some. Well, other than those 3D cards…

One Gamer’s Opinion:

Whew. As the weeks go by, so do the games. Next week is already full of reviews, where I’ll have my scores to settle with GHOST RECON: ADVANCED WARFIGHTER, SUIKODEN V, MEGA MAN: POWERED UP, ICE AGE 2 and even KARAOKE REVOLUTION COUNTRY. Until then, gamers…Game On with your Bad selves.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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