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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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GAME ON!

By Ian Bonds

April 7th, 2006

Every so often, there comes a time when I have SO many games to review, I just want to capsule my reviews, writing only “this one was good”, “this one sucked” and “that was awesome”. Sadly, I really can’t do that…but that may be a good thing. Still, it would make things a bit easier week after week, trying to come up with clever ways of talking about the same things I mention each time. There’s only so many ways I can say “the game was pretty to look at” without it losing all meaning. Thankfully, I have a good thesaurus, as well as a good imagination. Well, I’d like to think so anyway. But enough babbling…let’s see me put those 3 ½ years of community college to use.

WAR, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

After its rocky release back before Christmas, stores are finally starting to replenish their supply of Xbox 360s. This is good news for two main reasons. Firstly, folks who missed it now have an easier opportunity to pick one up (despite the large price) and secondly, there’s finally a good amount of quality titles being released for the system. One such game is the recently released GHOST RECON: ADVANCED WARFIGHTER. Originally planned to be a launch title, GRAW got pushed back a bit, and the wait was well worth it.

To be honest, I was never a fan of the series. The slow pacing, methodic team interaction, and the general feel of the game was not one I ever favored. However, once I booted up this new tile, that all changed. With its superb control, stellar graphics, and fully engaging action, I was hooked instantly. GRAW succeeds where the previous titles have failed (with me at least): it keeps the action going from the start and doesn’t let up. The team interaction is simplified and refined, and the control keeps your trigger finger happy.

It’s 2013 and insurgents have taken the Mexican Vice President hostage. It’s up to you and your squad of Ghosts to go in and flush them out, rescue the VP, and take down the terrorist threats. While GR2 employed a first person camera (which GRAW on the regular Xbox also does) the 360 version uses both first and third person perspectives, giving you a wider view on the battlefield. The new “Cross-Com” interface gives you a clear perspective in the upper corner of the screen of what your fellow teammates see, and also allow for quick and easy detection of objectives, enemies and transport via colored triangular reticules.

The team interaction is both intuitive and simplistic in its control. With just a press of a d-pad direction, you can choose between giving simple orders to your squad by focusing on a location and pressing a face button to have them either attack or move to that location (much like in FULL SPECTRUM WARRIOR). You can also give orders to various vehicles along the way, to lay ground fire, advance or retreat, for cover and such, as well as a robot camera that flies into locations and scouts for recon. It sounds more complex than I describe it, but it’s a world of help and very easy to perform the tasks you need.

The multiplayer here is what most will be wondering about, however, and that definitely does not disappoint. Featuring not only your typical deathmatch and team deathmatch types, there’s also an all inclusive Co-op mode, with an entirely separate storyline from the main game. The options for multiplayer are enormous, allowing players to set up specifications for just about any match type imaginable (making it almost more customizable than HALO’s multiplayer).

With such a wide berth of options for play, fantastic graphics and a ton of replay value, this is the first absolute in your must own list. Pick it up now and you’ll see why.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

SHE’S A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY…

Whenever I receive one of the KARAOKE REVOLUTION games, the first thing I do is call my girlfriend, Stacey. She loves the series, and since she would most times rather sing than speak, she’s always elated when a new one is released. This time was no different, and was up to the challenge when I told her the new game was entitled CMT PRESENTS: KARAOKE REVOLUTION COUNTRY. Seeing as neither of us are really big country music fans (though there’s certainly a fare share of it when we go out to the karaoke bar) we knew we weren’t in for the usual experience.

When Stacey plays the game, she’s always quite proud in pointing out the fact that the KARAOKE REVOLUTION games are the only games she’s excels at…so much to the point that it remains the only game she has beaten me by such a wide margin in. That being said, I was eager to dive into this new title, as I actually seemed to know more of the songs (by name, at least) than she. Alas, the record still would not be shattered, though she didn’t score quit as well as she usually does.

The beauty of the KR games is that you can generally mumble your way through the songs and still get a high score just so long as your mumblings are in the right key or pitch. Stacey, not a country fan, mumbled her way through songs such as “9 to 5” and “Wide Open Spaces”…and while the lyrics were provided (as usual) she was concentrating more on hitting the right notes rather than the right words…which is probably how she so soundly defeats me in this game.

With this now being the 5th iteration of the series, it’s nice to have a little diversity this time around as far as music selections. Having specific compilations of a particular genre of music is a good idea, so you can establish how many folks will pick up a particular version of the game. While there’s not really much new here to add to the already time tested gameplay (other than a few new country theme outfits, some weird sound related mini games from KR PARTY, and Eye-Toy support) it’s still a solid effort all around. If you’re a country fan, it’s a sure bet you’ll dig all that offered here, from current hits to timeless classics (how did *I* score higher on “Stand By Your Man”? I watched The Blues Brothers). Now, all I need is DR. DEMENTO PRESENTS KARAOKE REVOLUTION: TWISTED TUNES and my life will be complete…and I’ll finally be able to beat her at one of these.

Or not.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

ICE AGE 2: THE FETCHQUEST

When reviewing games based on movies, one must be careful not to let fear take hold and stab oneself in the eyes with a sharp implement. When reviewing games based on KIDS movies, the urge to dig out your ocular receptors with the business end of a bowie knife becomes ever greater. Luckily, there comes a game once every great while such as ICE AGE 2: THE MELTDOWN that holds the eye-hating demons within you at bay for a while, and entertains both the age group it’s directed at, as well as older reviewers and gamers like myself.

I’ll admit it…I’m a big kid anyway. I love cartoons, and cartoon-y things. I loved the first ICE AGE movie, and while I still have yet to see it, I’m looking forward to the sequel. And while most games based on cartoon movies generally get the feel of the film, but don’t offer much in terms of playability unless you’re under the age of 7, this title manages to hold a good deal of fun to it, despite it’s simplistic nature.

Throughout the majority of the game you play as Skrat, the loveable neurotic rat-squirrel, collecting items as you whimper through stages, scurrying about and whining to yourself in your own little prehistoric rat-squirrel way. You have a variety of moves, all used to, as C&C Music factory would put it “try to get a nut” (yeah, THAT was topical), such as digging it out of the ground, a stomp move used to break through ice, and various attacks as well. The game follows the films characters as well, as they all try to escape the impending threat of the film’s plot (here’s a hint…stuff melts).

As you progress, mini games advance the story’s plot, and allow you to take part in the game as the other characters like Manny the Mammoth and Sid the Sloth (alliteration is fun, kids!) such as in Sid’s DDR-inspired rhythm dive game. The actors from the film even provide the voices for the characters, which is nice change from other titles usual cast of sound-alikes. The visuals in the game are also top notch, switching between film footage and game footage almost seamlessly.

The main draw of the game, however, would be its ease of play. While geared towards the younger set, there’s a good deal that older gamers can enjoy. Skrat’s abilities, while often context sensitive, are animated very well, and are simple to operate. When he has to “play dead” whenever Diego turns while stalking nuts behind his back, it’s both funny and fun, done with a simple button press to make the little guy lay motionless on the ground. The whole game has that kind of goofy but entertaining control.

And while the game does deviate towards the easier route, there’s enough of a challenge here to give the kids something to push for, and the bigger kids who play will just have fun even though their basically just collecting endless streams of items and running back and forth across the frozen tundra to open bizarre doors (or squeeze through cracks…both in walls and…ugh…animal’s backsides). It’s a nice change to be able to enjoy a game despite it being based on a film…and a kid’s film at that.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

QUICKSHOT OF THE WEEK

While there’s been quite a lot of RPGs released in the past few weeks, the only one I‘ve had the opportunity to play so far has been SUIKODEN V for PS2. Thankfully, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable adventure, and brings the series back to its tried and true roots. Of course, there’s the 108 Stars of Destiny, but the game also returns to the standard 6 man battle sets, and with the huge amount of teammates you can acquire along the way, the possibilities for match-ups are varied and diverse. The story is a bit slow-moving however, starting strong at the immediate start, slowing down for a majority of the adventure, then picking up and staying up only after playing through half of the admittedly huge quest. And while the combat isn’t perfect, the one on one battles, as well as the 6 party member battles do offer enough of a fun exercise through the adventure to keep players entertained. Just keep trekking through, as I said, it does take the story a while to catch up to you.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

Well, that’s all for this column…stay tuned for a handheld centric column soon, as I’ve recently received a buttload of games on the go and I have much to review there. Until then, folks, keep on keepin’ on.

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Addicted to Bad
by Patrick Keller

International Intrigue
by Alison Veneto

Nocturnal Admissions
by D.K. Holm

Strange Impersonation
by Kim Morgan

Trailer Park
by Christopher Stipp




New DVD Releases
for April 11, 2006

DVD Diatribe
by D.K. Holm

DVD Late Show
by Christopher Mills




Preachin' from the Longbox
by Britt Schramm

Should It Be a Movie?
by Marc Mason

New Comic Book Releases
for April 12, 2006, 2006




New CD Releases
for April 11, 2006

Music for the Masses
by M.C. Bell




TV Recommendations
Boob toob picks of the week by Chris Ryall

Kentucky Fried Rasslin'
by Scott Bowden

TV Pilot Review Archives
by Chris Ryall



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