By Matt Singer
January 19, 2005
Readers will know that I’m constantly getting
hooked on TV shows on DVD (or as I call them, TVDs).
Here’s the latest batch of great television that’s
making me miss my deadlines:
Alias - I’m slow to the party on this one -
ABC’s just begun airing Season Four this month, but
holy hot damn is this show addictive. I don’t know
how anyone ever watched this show on a weekly basis --
each episode concludes with comic-like cliffhanger
endings and boasts an relentless parade of juicy plot
twists -- but it plays great on DVD.
Arrested Development - More than five years
off the air, and we finally have an heir apparent to
SEINFELD. This mockumentary sitcom (with narration
from executive producer Ron Howard, of all people)
boasts an incredible casts of lovable oddballs, plenty
of quotable dialogue, and at least three or four laugh
out loud moments per episode. Season One is available
on DVD and season two is airing right now on Fox.
Oh, right, movies.
THE GOOD
I AM TRYING TO BREAK YOUR HEART (2002)
Starring Jeff Tweedy, Jay Bennett
Directed by Sam Jones
Unrated, 97 minutes
Available on VHS & DVD
Though filmed in black and white, the dominant
color of Sam Jones' film about Wilco, I AM TRYING TO
BREAK YOUR HEART, is a murky gray. Even the closing
credits, unspooled over the haunting song
"Imagination" from WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE
FACTORY are tinted gray rather than traditional white.
Rolling Stone music critic David Fricke (who
also appears on camera in the film) compares the dingy
images to security camera footage, an appropriate
metaphor for the intimate nature of Jones' revealing
film.
But the visuals do so much more. The film's drab
look underscores the movie's bleak story of a world in
which record labels and rock bands are equally
chaotic. Here the only thing that is truly black and
white is the music; bold and beautiful. And the songs
themselves, haunting blends of rock, folk, and pop
like "Ashes of American Flags" and "Poor Places," are
about survival in the midst of destruction and decay,
which, ironically, is what Wilco found itself forced
to do when their record company refused to release
their album Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.
Fiction films are shot first and then acquire
soundtracks. I AM TRYING TO BREAK YOUR HEART is sort
of the reverse; an album given a "videotrack" to
compliment the songs; faded pictures of sad stories to
accompany the eleven songs on Yankee Hotel
Foxtrot. It is one of the best rock and roll
movies of all time, equally about the dark side of the
music industry and the triumph of the music itself
over everything else.
YHF was recorded in the winter of 2000 and
2001 by Wilco, a band that was formed out of the
rubble of alt-country pioneers Uncle Tupelo.
First-time filmmaker and rock photographer Jones
arrived in Chicago expecting to simply document the
album's recording only to find a band in a wild state
of flux; one day earlier, Wilco had fired its drummer.
Jones would later capture the disintegration of the
relationship between key member Jay Bennett and the
rest of the band, as well as Reprise Records'
rejection of Wilco's completed album for its perceived
lack of commercial appeal.
Through it all Wilco persevered. I AM TRYING TO
BREAK YOUR HEART is not the great film that it is
because they succeed, but because they survive.
The minor accomplishments of the documentary's final
minutes do not negate the loss of one of key member
and the band's dismissal by a record label. When you
watch the film -- and you most definitely should, even
if you aren't a Wilco fan -- compare Bennett's last
performance with the band with those after he was
fired. Before his removal, the band is powerful and
lively on "Outtasite (Outta Mind)," even if the
tension between the members was never higher. After
Bennett leaves, the loss to the performance of
"Monday" is tangible. It's clear the band hasn't
quite adjusted to playing their old rockers as a
four-piece with only one guitarist. Yet without
Bennett, the band performs a startlingly beautiful
rendition of one of YHF's best numbers, "Jesus,
Etc." as if the new music could not be performed any
other way. Bennett's firing ultimately feels sad yet
necessary, an obviously talented musician who is not
in sync with Wilco's continually evolving attitude.
I AM TRYING TO BREAK YOUR HEART is a film that
seems casually entertaining on first viewing, and
infinitely more carefully constructed and powerful
each time I watch it. The whole experienced is
enhanced by the film's terrific DVD, which offers you
an extra disc with more than an hour of illuminating
additional scenes and concert footage (On a side note,
documentarians shoot dozens of hours of footage for
and use only a tiny percentage of it. Why, then, do
so few use DVD, as Jones does, to share some of the
unused gems they captured?). The only significant
disadvantage to the film is that Wilco's career has
only grown more interesting, but Jones isn't around to
film it. A sequel would be great, but it's almost
certain Wilco would never be interested in making
another documentary; they are not interested in doing
the same thing twice.
IF YOU LIKED I AM TRYING TO BREAK YOUR HEART,
CHECK OUT: SUPERSTAR: THE KAREN CARPENTER STORY
(1987): A early film by director Todd Haynes (SAFE,
FAR FROM HEAVEN) that tells the tragic story of rock
singer Karen Carpenter’s battle with anorexia. The
catch? Haynes cast Barbie dolls as his actors. A
trippy flick that’s not commercially available, since
Haynes couldn’t get the Carpenter estate to license
him the songs (Mattel Toys wasn’t too pleased either),
but bootleg copies are exist if you look around.
THE BAD
THE POSTMAN (1997)
Starring Kevin Costner, Will Patton
Directed by Kevin Costner
Rated R, 177 minutes.
Available on DVD
Any movie could be good; it's just the case that
most aren't. Sometimes, what sounds like the worst
idea can evolve into a good movie. Jerry Lewis' lost
Holocaust comedy THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (lost because
it was so bad Lewis has kept the film from ever being
released) sure sounds awful, but Roberto Begnini
recycled its basic plot for the very popular LIFE IS
BEAUTIFUL.
THE POSTMAN is closer to a good movie than THE DAY
THE CLOWN CRIED. It needn't have been remade by
another director. Conceivably, a significantly
shorter cut with some reshot dialogue could have made
this infamous clunker into something worth seeing. As
it is, this not the ISHTARish bomb it is made out to
be. It's problems are vast and numerous, but not as
painful to endure as expected.
Its main problem is that damn running time, just a
hair under three hours. Very few movies deserve to be
three hours long, and most of that do have already
been made by Francis Ford Coppola. Kevin Costner
became one of the most successful actor/directors in
Hollywood history with his DANCES WITH WOLVES,
originally a 180-minute film that is now available in
an extended cut on DVD that runs nearly four freakin'
hours.
Apparently Costner chalked up WOLVES' popularity to
its length and, blinded by his incredible success,
then made it his personal life mission to never appear
in another movie shorter than two and a half hours.
It didn't matter how good the film was, it didn't
matter how much they cost. If it was really, really
long, he was going to be in it (if he could wear his
hear long and flowing, and sport some sort of strange
facial hair, that didn't hurt either) Throughout the
1990s he went through an unprecedented stretch of
bloated bladder-busters. Just look at this partial
resume:
DANCES WITH WOLVES: 236 minutes
JFK: 206 minutes
ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES: 155 minutes
WATERWORLD: 176 minutes
THE POSTMAN: 177 minutes
Others may have made more movies, but no one asked
asked his audience to physically spend more time in
theaters than Kevin Costner.
Astoundingly, by the time THE POSTMAN rolled around
in 1997, Costner had already faltered once with
WATERWORLD, the most expensive movie ever made to
date. Some may have been discouraged by such failure
but Costner charged ahead; after TIN CUP (a fluffy
sports comedy that still clocks in at well over two
hours) he returned to the epic scale that he blindly
loved with THE POSTMAN. Though it cost less than half
of WATERWORLD it was just as big, just as long, and a
much bigger flop (Believe it or not, WATERWORLD's
worldwide box office ensured the picture just about
broke even).
THE POSTMAN reminds me of a other movies by
successful stars who have lost their grip on reality.
Steven Seagal made the wildly popular UNDER SIEGE and
suddenly he was directing himself in ON DEADLY GROUND,
where he was single-handedly saving the environment by
kicking the shit out of Michael Caine (the connection
made even less sense on screen). Costner was a far
more talented an actor and director than Seagal
(though give Seagal a slight edge in the hair
department) but he was just as deranged. Only a man
completely in love with himself would play a character
who, in the course of a movie, goes from
post-apocalyptic drifter (who answers to the name
Shakespeare, as if Costner is somehow carrying on of
the Bard's legacy) to postal worker impersonator (I'm
pretty sure that's a felony, buster!) to freedom
fighter who inspires an entire nation to rise up in
revolution while he kills bad guys and leaves notes on
their bodies reading "POSTAGE DUE." Postage due?
Did Schwarzenegger have a hand in the script?
(Probably not, he would have preferred something more
direct, like shooting his nemesis between the eyes
before barking "Return... to sender!")
Costner based his story on a novel, and perhaps on
the page the idea of a country being reborn thanks to
belief in United States Postal Workers was handled
with more delicacy. On film, the characters' slavish
devotion to the ideals of prompt package delivery
feels more than a little preposterous. By the end, if
you managed to make it to the end, when men are dying
as they yell "I believe in the United States of
America!" it's clear that Costner was either totally
misguided or making a movie for an audience that
hadn't existed since at least the 1950s (and even then
may have only existed then in the minds of people who
idealize the period).
There are numerous shots of natural beauty in THE
POSTMAN, though perhaps three great shots in three
hours is just a matter of the law of averages. The
rest of the time, the desolate apocalyptic landscape
seems straight out of Creed music video (thankfully,
Costner never cries tears of blood). The ideas behind
the film are fairly sound, but the execution is far
too earnest and can't seem to cut out any of the fat.
The DVD of THE POSTMAN has 44 chapters. I've read
huge books that were long at 30 chapters. Kevin, it's
not the size that counts, it's how you use it.
INSTEAD OF, CHECK OUT: FIREFLY (2002), yet
another outstanding television series available on
DVD, Joss Whedon’s superior blending of Western and
science-fiction tropes. Whedon convinced Fox, who
canceled the show after just 13 episodes, to let him
make a feature film (SERENITY, due out this fall) so
check out the show now so you’re all caught up for the
big release.
THE UGLY
THE HUMAN TORNADO (1976)
Starring Rudy Ray Moore, Ernie Hudson
Directed by Cliff Roquemore
Rated R, 95 minutes
Available on VHS & DVD
The key to the charm of blaxploitation masterpiece
THE HUMAN TORNADO is the conflict between the fiction
created on the screen and reality that anyone watching
the movie will be able to discern. Its star is a
comedian-turned-actor named Rudy Ray Moore, who plays
Dolemite, a hard-loving, hard-hitting pimp. TORNADO
is endlessly amusing because Moore consistently acts
like he is terrific at things he is blatantly
incompetent at. His kung-fu fighting closely
resembles uncontrollable asthmatic seizures, yet Moore
insists upon the monicker "The Human Tornado" and
dispatches dozens of men with punches and kicks filmed
at hi-speed. He kisses like a fish, and has a
egg-shaped physique, yet women are drawn to him and
his incredible lovemaking prowess; in one scene,
Dolemite's encounter with one buxom woman causes
furniture to move and doors to spontaneously open like
a scene from Disney's Haunted Mansion.
TORNADO is actually the sequel to a film entitled
DOLEMITE where, in an unprecedented display of trust
by the United States Penal System, Moore's character
was released from prison in order to prove his
innocence (Think Charles Manson's ever tried that
one?). There's little connection between the films
other than the lead character's lewd behavior and
subpar fight choreography. In a move I wholeheartedly
applaud, THE HUMAN TORNADO finds Dolemite, who
previously only rapped in his nightclub act, using rap
as a means of conversational communication (Example:
"Turn up in that cave! I got a plan to make that son
of a gun dig his own grave!") As a result, TORNADO is
sort of like THE GODFATHER PART II, a more complete,
complex version of its predecessor. And trust me,
that is the only way in which it is like THE
GODFATHER PART II.
Dolemite's in trouble with the law again, having
screwed the wife of a racist sheriff who then accuses
him of murder. After a standup comedy performance
(Sample so-unfunny-it's-funny Dolemite punchline: "He
screwed her three times and hit her in the head with a
rock!") Moore travels to Los Angeles to evade his
enemies, where he comes to the aid of a friend who is
being threatened by mobsters. There he hooks up with
an old flame named Hurricane Annie (I suppose the only
suitable lover for a man like The Human Tornado would
be another person with a meteorological nickname) and
shags and slaps his way to victory.
Like its star's dogged insistence on his own
superstardom in the face of insurmountable evidence to
the contrary, THE HUMAN TORNADO, clumsily but
enthusiastically directed by Cliff Roquemore, fashions
itself as a grand enterprise that it is incapable of
delivering. Cars are blown up, men are shot and
killed, massive karate fights are staged, and none of
it without a modicum of basic human competence. The
acting is sub-porno quality and the sound is so poorly
recorded that if the boom pole hadn’t popped into the
show so much you would swear they had pointed the
wrong end at the actors (In the original DOLEMITE, the
boom mike appears so frequently it deserved a
supporting actor credit).
If you've ever wished to see a man in thong (who is
actually supposed to be naked, but nevermind) jump off
a cliff, freeze in midair then shout "So y'all don't
believe I jumped huh? Well watch THIS good shit!" and
then see the whole thing done again in an "INSTANT
REPLAY!" you should probably see THE HUMAN TORNADO.
Although I have the sneaking suspicion that if you
really did want to see such a sight you either already
own THE HUMAN TORNADO or you are The Human
Tornado.
IF YOU LIKED THE HUMAN TORNADO, CHECK OUT: THE HEBREW
HAMMER (2003), a Jewish version of a blaxploitation
humor. The execution could have been funnier, but I
positively loved Andy Dick in the role he was born to
play, as a murderous Santa Claus.
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