NIGHTVEIL: WITCH WAR (2005) is another comics adaptation, and another story entirely. This direct-to-DVD production has been described – by its own creators! – as "the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of super hero movies." But, not unlike Ed Wood's magnum opus, there's a charming quality to NIGHTVEIL's ambitious incompetence, a pervasive sense of fun that makes watching it a pleasure.

For over twenty years, through his company, AC Comics, writer/artist Bill Black has published Femforce, an independent comic book featuring a crime fighting team of sexy super heroines. These comics have inspired an enthusiastic, loyal following, including a surprising number of female fans who enjoy dressing up as their favorite characters at comic book conventions. One such fan is Mary Capps.

Capps won several costume contests dressed as the Femforce character Nightveil, and this didn't escape Black's notice. He persuaded her to perform in a short video, which eventually became WITCH WAR. The movie was shot on weekends over an extended period of time, abandoned once and then re-started as Black came into possession of better video equipment and special effects software. The final result is a nearly incoherent mess that repeatedly betrays its patchwork production style, but it's an ambitious mess, and shows considerable promise for future efforts.

The story – as best I can explain it – is this: gun-toting super heroine The Blue Bulleteer (Capps) is whisked away to another dimension by benevolent wizard Azagoth (comic book artist C. Bradford Gorby) where she is taught the magical arts. She returns to Earth with the new identity of Nightveil, and sets up shop in the middle of the Florida Everglades, only to come into conflict with an evil sorceress (sexy semi-pro actress Maria Paris) over possession of a mystical gem.

The DVD from Smarty Pants Entertainment presents the movie full-frame. The picture and sound quality varies considerably throughout the running time, owing to the nature of the source material. The disc includes numerous bonus features: a short mockumentary on the "Cheeseorama" process (which allegedly turns good movies into bad ones); an on-camera interview with writer/director Bill Black, who goes into some depth about the making of the vidflick; an animated text feature that gives the background of the Femforce characters, illustrated with comic book art; and a short film called "Nightveil's Nightmare Theater," which casts the heroine as an Elvira-styled movie host.

I liked this disc, even if I'm not going to say it's good. But it's kinda cool seeing the actual creator of a comic book character personally take on the challenge of adapting their creation to another medium, even if the final results fall somewhat short of SPIDER-MAN or X-MEN quality.

If you're interested in checking out this disc for yourself, you'll find more information at the AC Comics website, here.

ENTER…ZOMBIE KING (aka ZOMBIE BEACH PARTY, 2005) is a different kind of super hero film. Imagine a world where Mexican-styled masked wrestlers are national heroes, flesh-eating zombies prowl the countryside, and masked bikini babes sunbathe on the beach during a snowstorm. That's ENTER…ZOMBIE KING, a low-budget, shot-on-video opus from some seriously demented Canadian filmmakers.

Ulysses (Jules Delorme) is one of America's (!) top superheroes, on his way to meet The Blue Saint (Raymond Carle) and his sister Mercedes (Jennifer Thom), for a reunion at their snowed-in beach house. On his way there he discovers that his old partner, Tiki (Rob "El Fuego" Etcheverria) is travelling the countryside putting on exhibition wrestling matches with "domesticated" zombies. Now, Ulysses and his friends think this is a bad idea, and when locals start getting murdered and eaten, they suspect Tiki's undead pets. Investigating, the masked marvels uncover the real fiend behind the zombie rampage…and I'm guessing you figured out who that is from the title.

ENTER…ZOMBIE KING is a bizarre little vidflick, full of tattooed lesbians, cartoonish gore, random strangeness (like the sunbathing bit mentioned above), endless wrestling and some swingin' surf rock (by The Tijuana Bibles). As goofy as it is, though, director Stacy Case and creator/writers Bill Marks and Sean K. Robb create a surprisingly thought-out fantasy "world." Every character has a complicated personal history with one or more of the other characters, and the central conceit of masked wrestlers travelling around seeking adventure and fighting evil works surprisingly well. Performances are mostly amateurish, and the production values are low, but it's fun.

ADV's disc presents a solid, letterboxed transfer with a nice 5.1 Surround mix. There are no extras aside from trailers for six other ADV titles.

Probably the most popular movie super hero of all comes from ancient Greek mythology – although he's made countless comic book appearances, too. Of course, I'm talking about that daring demigod, that muscle-bound mangod… Hercules, the half-mortal son of Zeus.

With the surprising drive-in success of 1958's HERCULES, starring Steve Reeves, Italian producers fell all over themselves producing literally hundreds of further adventures of the brawny hero. To fill the sizeable sandals of all those Hercs, producers scoured Europe for appropriately buff bodybuilders. The best of these – other than Reeves himself – was probably British weight-lifting champion Reg Park.

Park may not have been much of an actor, but he looked great on screen and actually possessed a certain amount of natural charm and charisma that penetrated the terrible dubbing, making him one of the more likeable Hercs. HERCULES THE AVENGER (aka LA SFIDA DEI GIGANTI, 1965) was the last – and least – of three times he portrayed the Olympian on film.

In this sadly standard sword and sandal epic, the mighty Hercules is sent on a quest to save his son's soul from the evil Earth Goddess Gia. As is usual on one of these quests, Herc must overcome onerous obstacles, fight a legion of paper mache monsters, and resist various temptations to rescue his progeny. Unfortunately, while Hercules is off being all sweaty and heroic, that bitch Gia sends her son Antaius to Earth to impersonate Hercules. Antaius seizes the throne and reigns over the people as a cruel tyrant. Can Hercules survive his quest, save his son, and reclaim his good name?

What do you think?

Now, there's nothing wrong with the plot – familiar as it is. Unfortunately, there's more here familiar than the story, as director Maurizio Lucidi literally steals large portions of Reg Park's previous two Hercules films to pad out his movie's running time. In fact, nearly all of Hercules' adventures in the Underworld are lifted directly from the vastly superior HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD (1961), directed by the vastly more talented Mario Bava (see DIABOLIK, above.) If you want to see how good Park could be in the role, I'd suggest looking up Bava's film instead.

Retromedia's DVD offers HERCULES THE AVENGER in a surprisingly good anamorphic 2.35:1 widescreen transfer. There's a small amount of dirt and debris scattered throughout, and the picture's a little soft, but the colors are pretty good for the most part, and it's probably the best this film has looked in years.

Retromedia's disc also includes a second feature, HERCULES AND THE BLACK PIRATE (SANSONE CONTRO IL CORSARO NERO, 1964), starring Alan Steel (aka Sergio Ciani, HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN). Now this is a Hercules movie in name only – instead of a sword & sandal saga, it's a swashbuckling pirate adventure set in Elizabethan times, and Alan Steel is simply called "Hercules" in the English dub.

No Greek Godling, in this film "Herc" is a handsome Spanish sailor hunting down the dread Black Pirate on the bounding main. Lots of stock footage sea battles and swordfights fill the running time of this substandard swashbuckler, and frankly, I found it difficult to sit through. It's not entirely the movie's fault, though.

The movie is presented in a choppy full-frame transfer culled from a beat-up TV syndication print. When American International released this to TV nobody bothered to pan-and-scan the image. Instead we get endless dialogue scenes where people who are talking are completely out of frame, action scenes where essential information is cropped off the sides, and it's riddled with awkward jump cuts. I admit it, I'm spoiled by letterboxing – ten years ago I could probably have watched this on TV with no problem, but now it just frustrates and gives me a headache. The only extras on this double-feature disc are a still gallery of sword & sandal film advertising art on Side B.

I'm glad someone is preserving and releasing these movies on DVD – they're an essential part of exploitation film history. I just wish someone were attempting to restore and present them in a better manner. I guess there's not enough of a paying audience to justify the expense, though. If you're a collector of peplum films and you want these titles in your library, the price is right, and AVENGER looks quite good.

When any genre becomes popular, it becomes ripe for parody. So, when Columbia Pictures was looking around in the early Sixties for a feature vehicle for their aging comedy stars, The Three Stooges, someone took a look at the box office figures for all these Italian peplum potboilers and came up with the idea of teaming the boys with the son of Jove. The result was 1961's THE THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES.

The Stooges – Moe Howard, Larry Fine and "Curly" Joe De Rita – are working as soda jerks in a drugstore in Ithaca, New York. One of their favorite customers is shy science whiz Schuyler Davis (Quinn K. Redeker), a hapless bookworm who is smitten with the lovely Diana Quigley (Vicki Trickett). In an attempt to help the pair get together, the Stooges get Schuyler's time machine working, and the whole motley crew is transported to ancient Greece. There, they meet the evil King Odius and his henchman, the arrogant, self-absorbed Hercules (Samson Burke). Odius takes a liking to Diana, and banishes the men to the galleys, intending to take the lovely brunette as his wife. As it turns out, Schuyler's heavy labors as a galley slave soon turn him into a muscleman, a muscleman the Stooges pass off as Hercules in a series of fights to make money so they can return to the palace, rescue Diana and return to 1961.

The boys had lost a step or two by the Sixties, and their once-brutal physical comedy had been replaced by a gentler, sight-gag oriented brand. Columbia re-positioned them as kiddie-matinee stars, and MEET HERCULES is clearly aimed at that undemanding audience.

That said, it's still a fun romp, with some good gags, a cool "Siamese cyclops" (played by Mike & Marlin McKeever) and a few scattered reminders of the trio's glory days. I've never been fond of Joe De Rita, but he's acceptable here.

The DVD from Columbia presents the black & white film in a pristine 1.85:1 widescreen transfer and mono sound. It looks great for a film of its vintage. There are no extra features on the disc except for a home video trailer for some recent "colorized" Stooges releases from the studio.

For Stoogeophiles (?) it's a solid presentation of one of the trio's later features, and for everyone else, it's a fun Saturday afternoon diversion.

Greek mythology also plays a part – if a tenuous one – in BIKINI GODDESSES (1994), the B-feature of EI Entertainment's recent Seduction Cinema release, BIKINI GIRLS ON DINOSAUR PLANET (2005).

"Ellen Cabot's" (aka David DeCoteau, SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA) GODDESSES is your basic late-night Skinemax fare: an American college kid is shipped off to spend the Summer with his father in Greece. While exploring some ruins, he releases three hot demigoddesses who just can't get enough of sex and sunbathing.

It's well-made, as these kind of films go, and the women are gorgeous – and frequently naked. Director DeCoteau even provides a somewhat dry commentary track on the making of the film, which was shot on location in Greece.

The A-feature of this "Bikini" double feature, BIKINI GIRLS ON DINOSAUR PLANET, is another Misty Mundae softcore lesbian romp, this time with the added value of really cool CGI dinosaurs. The plot – if one can call it that – is even more basic than that of its companion feature: two hot chicks from the future travel to the prehistoric past to watch sex-crazed cavegirls grope each other in the mud.

Directed by William Hellfire, and also starring starlets Zoe Moonshine and Ruby LaRocca, DINOSAUR PLANET is your typical Seduction Cinema release, with no story, bad acting, lots of pseudo lesbian groping and shoestring production values. I did like the dinosaurs, though. They have a kind of cartoony design that's quite appealing and I wish there had been more of them.

EI/Seduction Cinema's disc includes both features, presented full-frame. DINOSAUR PLANET was shot on video, so the transfer is sharp and flawless. GODDESSES appears to have been shot on cheap film stock, and is therefore a little grainy. Doesn't look bad, though. For bonus material, there's the above-mentioned commentary track on GODDESSES, a "Vintage Nudie Peepshow," and trailers for other Seduction Cinema releases.

Hey, what can I say? If this is what you like, you'll like this.

That's it for this week. Next time we'll be looking at real mixed bag of deviant discs – from Asian horror to animated adventure. See you then.

COMING ATTRACTIONS: DARK WATER, FEEDING THE MASSES, LIVING DOLL, FIRE & ICE and more.

Femme Noir by Mills and Staton

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