E-MAIL RYALL | E-MAIL TIPTON | ARCHIVES
MAIL SHOOT
July 18, 2005
Mark W. writes: I recently read 'Zero Hour' and have a question for
you:
In Zero Hour, Wally West dies (echoing Barry Allen's
death in Crisis) and as I believe the current comics
star Wally West as Flash... how?! It wouldn't surprise
me to learn that DC came up with a convoluted
explanation of how he survived but I'd like to hear
it.
Also, before writing this email I re-read your Flash
column, in case you answered this question, but
neither Wally's death nor Zero Hour get a mention.
On a bit of a tangent, I seem to remember you writing
about Zero Hour and you hating the way certain Golden
Age heroes were simply discarded like rubbish by being
aged to death in a few panels. However I can find no
reference to this in your Archives. Am I imagining
this?
Tipton: It was thought that Flash died, after Zero Hour, but actually, he was just merged with the Speed Force for a while, the mysterious dimensional zone that grants all super-speedsters their powers.
The passage you're thinking about is in one of the JSA columns, available in the archives.
###
Doug G. writes: I just read your column on Green Arrow: Quiver and greatly enjoyed it. I picked up the trade last week and it truly is an awesome story. There's one thing that
I have been wondering about: I wonder if Phil Hester had anything to do with
the plotting of the story. You might be familiar with "The Wretch", his small
comic that also featured Ande Parks on and off, along with other artists and
guest writers. I'm a big fan of the Wretch and couldn't help noticing a few
trademark things from the book in Quiver.
*One of the demons trying to inhabit Ollie looks like a baby. Babies are a big
theme in Wretch, so that's a throwback.
*The entire demonic plotting with "Stanley and his Monster" is right up Hester's
alley. In Wretch, half of the plots are about demons and devils.
Just a thought. Oh, one other thing: I'll always remember Kyle and Wally's
response to Batman when he chastises the League after knocking out Ollie.
Kyle: "That is the most complex sentence I have ever heard."
Wally: "I bet he was waiting in the shadows for an hour to come up with a
putdown that classy."
Tipton: I don't think Hester was directly involved with plotting, but it wouldn't surprise me if Smith tailored his story to Hester's strengths.
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Charles C. writes: I really enjoy reading your articles. They take me back to when I actively read 20 (20!?!) books a month in junior high and high school. I would love for you to write about some of my faves (that haven't already been discussed) from back in the day, such as the Legion of Superheroes, Marvel team-up, the Micronauts, and my personal favorite...Master of Kung Fu. I really feel this was a truly underrated and exceptional book that deserves its own movie. I mean really...if Ghost Rider can become a movie...why not MoKF? The plot virtually writes itself! The book was also blessed with some of the greatest artists...Jim Starlin, Paul Gulacy, Mike Zeck, and Gene Day. Also the writing of Doug Moench, who was on the book for almost the entire run.
As someone who stopped reading in the mid 80's, I would also love to find out some of the history of the publishers to come along at that time. The challengers to the "big two" as it were.
Another history lesson waiting to be told is the story of Charlton. So many talented and creative people started at that company...
Tipton: Both Shang-Chi and Micronauts are longtime favorites, I'll definitely try and get to them soon.
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Keith Y. writes: Firts off i would just like say that i find your site one of the most inforamtive out their and quite enjoyable to read praticulary the last few articles on the Green Arrow. I was just wondering if there had been any mention or prediction about the Children of the Green arrow last seen in Green Arrow one million one shot and was that before or after the scene with the GL standing over his grave?
Tipton: The far-future Children of the Arrow only appeared in DC One Million, which was published while Ollie was still dead.
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Pat M. writes: I appreciate your column. It's good stuff. I used to be an avid comic book reader; but the realities of life (wife and kids) has kind of shut that down. Your Comics 101 essays help keep me caught up.
So how about you write about the greatest indy comic book of all time, Nexus.
Tipton: I'll have to get to Nexus one of these days, definitely.
###
Chris P. writes: I mailed you a while back with a question regarding Hawkman and Green
Arrow. You sent me a great response leaving me hanging with the promise
of Hawkman and GA columns. In your articles on Hawkman and subsequently
the recent 4 extremely long pages on Green Arrow I have been astounded by
the depth and care you took in writing the histories of these two great
characters. Thank you so much for enlightening me to these characters and
all of your other great work in the Comics 101 page. I point everyone I
know who loves comics to your page.
###
Dr. Professor writes: Once upon a time I wrote to you requesting a column on Spidey's rogue's gallery, which in my humble estimate stands up pretty well among rogue's
galleries. It sounded like you agreed with me but I'm still waiting for
this helpful info. Speaking of helpful, is there any way you can use
larger scans? The pictures are fine but the text is often illegible,
despite my 19" monitor.
Tipton: Still planning on it, just haven't gotten to it. I'll try to make it a priority this fall.
I can't make the scans much bigger without screwing up the page dimensions, but if I run an image that's dialogue-dependent, I'll try to zoom in a little more.
###
Kevin M. writes: As "Christopher H." continued the discussion in 2004/12/27 Mail Shoot column I thought I'd add my new look at things:
While I realize it's the Ultimate Universe (oddly enough the UFF is the only FF I've ever liked....but I'm slowly changing my mind on Waid's FF) it appears that Ellis and his predecessors are extending the 'Elemental' Aspect of the FF in the series.
You might note in the second trade (and it might be in the first as well) when Reed is flashing back to the accident it shows the people teleporting and transforming and......Man-Thing is in a panel. Man-Thing? My knowledge of Man-Thing is limited to a guest appearance in one of my essential X-Men books but he's always come across as the Marvel "wood/plant" guy like Swamp Thing.
If this is actually Man-Thing, and I'm not hallucinating, it reminds me of the core elements that I always learned about when I was a kid: Earth, Air, Fire, Water (the FF natch), Steel (Doom) and Wood (Man-Thing).
Now, it's very likely I made up that whole 6 element system and I might have gotten it from those toys in the 80s where you rubbed the holograms on their chest and it revealed what element they belonged to (pretty damned lame now that I think about it) but it's something I like to think about from time to time.
Well, time for me to go read Cosmic Odyssey....
Tipton: I didn’t even know there was an Ultimate Man-Thing until I opened up my new Man-Thing action figure last week and read the enclosed comic book…
###
Matthew N. writes: This may seem like an insigificant point, considering it only consisted of a sentence in your most recent Comics 101, but I wanted to give a nod for
recognizing something very important to me.
I'm a big Spoiler fan. When I started collecting comics in highschool, I
started with "Robin," and the first issue I bought had Spoiler in it. I
grew to like the character very much, especially when I went back and bought
every issue of the "Robin" series. I cheered when she and Tim got together,
and I was looking forward to her growing role in the Batfamily.
Which never happened.
Oh, sure, they hinted at it. Chuck even seemed to build for it. But no
other Bat writer would give her character the time of day, or even if they
did, they treated her like a joke or a fluke. The sidekick that shouldn't
be.
When Dixon finally had Batman accept her as his protege for a while, I was
happy, yet cautious at the same time, fearing a purposeful build up to a
second Jason Todd incident (I actually got my letter published in a Robin
issue voicing this, though I unfortunately don't remember which one, and I
don't have it with me to reference...). The reason I doubted this move to
be real is exactly because she got no respect outside of the Robin books, so
why would this happen all of the sudden?
But, for a while, things seemed good. She was being featured a little in
"Birds of Prey," which made sense: a young girl looking to older female
heroes in the local area for mentorship. Also, she was showing up in
Batgirl, a fit I thought was fantastic: a young, extraordinary girl who
struggled to be normal paired with a young, all-too normal girl with hopes
of becoming extraordinary. This lasted till my favorite Batgirl issue, one
featuring Steph predominantly, issue #26. "Wow," I thought, "My doubts were
wrong! They really are going to handle her character well and build her
up!" I looked forward to her climb up and becoming a true hero in her own
right.
Then it all came crashing down.
With Dixon's departure, the writer who cared the most about this character
left her to a pack of wolves. Lewis' horrible run on the series saw no
development for her, even though she was used. It just seemed, like all
other aspects of his writing "Robin," Steph was used poorly and boringly,
and all the building up that had been happening vanished. She was
subsequently fired from the BoP AND Batman, and even Cassie didn't want to
hang out with her anymore. Everything I had enjoyed watching develop
just....stopped.
So here she was, once again wasted potential. But then...a glimmer of hope.
Willinghamm reveals that he doesn't just want to make her featured again,
he wants her to be the new Robin! A bold move, to be sure, but as I read, I
almost was convinced it was for real. Tim's retirement made sense--and I
love Tim, don't get me wrong. But it seemed true: if Tim's dad asked him to
stop, he would stop. That's who Tim is! And while I did not doubt he would
return as Robin, I also was being taken in by the concept of a Girl Wonder.
And enjoying it.
Here Steph was being proclaimed and paraded as the new Robin not just in
"Robin," but also other Batbooks. I made sure to branch out and get every
appearance they were having of her, and really liking it. And then came
"War Games."
When Steph was fired after one arc of being Robin, I knew it was over. I
just did. Especially as they started off War Games and I saw her there in
the first issue. She was dead, and I knew it. And sure enough, she didn't
just get killed, but was made responsible for the deaths of hundreds of
people first. Thanks a lot, DC. Thanks a lot.
My fear from years ago came true this past fall, and frankly, I've dropped
all Batbooks because of it. I'm not even holding a grudge. I just don't
have fun reading them anymore. Everytime I pick up a "Robin" now, all I can
think about it Steph and how she was handled so poorly.
Stephanie Brown was a minor character in comics. Most people will have
never heard of The Spoiler. But she was a favorite of mine, and it saddens
me how she was handled by so many over the years, culminating in her
demise. So much potential squandered and wasted. So, in conclusion, I just
wanted to say thanks for recognizing that perhaps with a little more care,
she could have been so much more.
PS. Here's hoping for a "Young Justice 2" series featuring Steph as "Secret
Spoiler." I'd read it. But then again, I'd probably be the only one.
Tipton: Totally agree, and I think you hit it right on the nose: when Chuck Dixon left, so did the character's only champion.
Honestly, there comes a point when, if Batman's apprentices keep getting murdered, you'd think the JLA would step in and say "enough.” The whole concept of the kid sidekick is shaky enough from a propriety standpoint, that you really don't want to call too much attention to it by, say, REPEATEDLY KILLING THEM OFF.
###
Dean L. writes: With all the hubbub of GL:Rebirth, I was wondering if you might do a
column focusing on the long history of the GL namesake and what the
status of the characters are today. Golden Age GL Alan Scott became
Sentinel? The best storylines featuring Hal Jordan? How do Guy
Gardner and Jon Stewart fit into the overall history? And what was
with Kyle Rayner becoming Ion? Alan Scott's GL-esque daughter just
happened to wind up with the newest GL?
Even if you can't squeeze this in your slate of upcoming column
topics, could you at least recommend some good trades? I've always
thought that GL was one of the best characters DC had but the
open-ended nature of his powers, limited only by his creativity, made
it hard for writers. Maybe only someone as off the wall as Grant
Morrison could give us the chaotic vision of a ring gone crazed with
the bizarre imagery of Arkham Asylum: A Serious House On Serious Earth
or his Seaguy.
You keep writing 'em, I'll keep reading 'em.
Tipton: There's a GL history column in the archives, but I might do a more Hal Jordan-focused piece when his ongoing solo series begins later this year.
###
James F. writes: Just spent the last few months reading thru your archives and I have
really enjoyed them. Though I was wondering where your knowledge ends.
By this i mean you have a near encyclopedia-like knowledge of marvel and
d.c. mainstream, but what about the "offshoot" brands they had. Not just
vertigo, but marvel stars or THE NEW UNIVERSE. (My personal favorite). I
think it would be great to read up on the history of Peter Porker: The
Amazing Spider-ham. Just give it a thought would you.
Tipton: I'll try to mix in some more obscure stuff with the mainstream.
Peter Porker? Really? A big fan of Captain Americat as well?
###
Sunil S. writes: I stumbled upon your Column the other day! This is simply the best commentary on Comics I have ever read. (Actually it is the only one I have ever read!). Keep up the good work!
Arrow was one of my favorite super heroes for a long time (mostly due to that amazing beard, not to mention the Arrow with the boxing glove...now that is genius!) However I never did get to read most of the stories you have mentioned. I am from india and we used to get GA along with Superman and Batman (lantern if we were lucky!) in a single magazine published fortnightly. So I read the Silver age in the late 80s!
However there is one GA story which I did read. It was about the origin of Arrow. It begins with a flashback as GA is within grasp of recovering is fortune on stormy night on a ship. Apparently he was marooned on a tropical island (Crusoe could learn!) and makes a bow and some arrows out of boredom! Needless to stay he becomes an expert (He also makes his first trick arrow to catch fish!) The island is coincidentally (!) used by smugglers and he bashes them up!
It ends with him losing his zillions (again) and he says it does not matter any more!
PS: Could you do a column on Asterix the gaul AND the Phantom - the ghost who walks?
Tipton: I need to get more Asterix and Phantom reference material before I tackle them, but I plan to eventually. Thanks for reading!
Scott S. writes: I'm gonna suck up at first to help ensure the publication of my letter: Awesome site...and you're very handsome...and smart...and well endowed..ok..line crossed...sorry...where was I...?
Right. There has been something weighing on my mind recently. The Fox network has something of a split personality. The first of which is the one I'm sure all readers of this site hate. Fox has by far the worst, the most tasteless, the most insulting reality shows that have EVER aired.
Ryall: That’s only because ABC’s WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD never actually aired… but go on.
I don't even feel the need to list examples (which is helpful because I have repressed my memories of most of them). Yet despite this apparent lack of taste, they have also aired a disproportionate number of brilliant, genre-defining/defying, masterful works of television art: The Simpsons (obviously), Arrested Development, the X-Files and the list goes on. Fox has had more cult hits than any other network and the number of these hits that have been cancelled after not even having aired a full season is enormous (Andy Richter, the Tick, Firefly, Wonderfalls, etc.)
My point (I have one...trust me) is that Fox is the most desperate of all television networks. They are still trying to prove they are a full network like ABC, NBC, and CBS while trying to distance themselves from netlets like WB and UPN. As a result they fall back to what works. In the short term, their biggest hits are reality schlock, from America's Wildest and Deadliest Animal Attack Car Chases to American Idol. In the long term, however, their biggest hit have been weird, long-shot, unlikely hits like The Simpsons, X-Files, Married With Children, Malcom in the Middle and Ally McBeal.
What we're left with is the most frustrating network in TV. They simultaneously air the most humiliating and disgusting programs that have ever existed and the most daring, original, and brilliant shows that have ever aired. Fox is like that one girlfriend you had that might have treated you like shit, but was still the hottest girl whose boobs you ever touched.
I love/hate Fox.
Ryall: I hear you. But you should also love/hate the viewing audience, then. Networks are greedy, heartless bastards who air the cheapest possible shows that bring in the most money. They’re a business. So if fans want crappy reality shows where midgets date or fight elephants, well, that’s what they’ll give you. But I do at least have to compliment them on giving ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT another shot this season. Fact is, that show is expensive to produce and doesn’t bring in huge ratings, meaning it’s a financial risk to keep it going instead of airing CELEBRITY DIVORCES or something.
They air a lot of inexcusable things, yes, but at least they seem to also take more chances than some of the others.
Less-Than-FANTASTIC FOUR
Joseph Sh. Writes: Are you and/or Tipton going to offer reviews of the FF movie? I thought for sure they'd be on the site today. I'm dying to know what you guys thought of it, especially since you both expressed doubts about its quality leading up to its release.
I saw it and enjoyed it. Far from perfect but an enjoyable film that, for the most part, was faithful to the spirit of the comics.
Ryall: I figured there was no reason for me to be bitter about the movie during the week of Comicon, so I skipped a review (although D.K. Holm did review it at the site last week). I think I so lowered Tipton’s expectations that he enjoyed it more than I did. It was just such a series of missed opportunities that I found it hard to take. There were some decent bits with the Torch and the Thing, but beyond that, in no particular order:
The origin was terrible. Why was Doom so upset at Reed, again? Because an unpredictable cosmic storm got there sooner than planned?
Way too many obvious foreshadowing of the powers, too—“I’m really STRETCHING my mind.” “I’m a HOTHEAD.” “I feel so INVISIBLE.” “I sure hope I don’t ever turn into a BIG, ROCKY THING” (I’m paraphrasing this last one)
The discovery of their powers was just so mundane
Sue was… a brilliant geneticist? Yeah, and Denise Richards was a nuclear physicist in a Bond movie. Uh-huh.
The people of Latveria so loved Von Doom, they awarded him with… an ugly iron mask? That was somehow immune to Johnny’s nova blast (as was the street) later?
The Fly/Superman 2 device to remove their powers had a reverse switch?
Ben not only figured out how to trigger the reverse switch on his own, but he covered a couple miles of New York streets in a matter of seconds after transforming back?
Reed and Ben are lifelong friends, yet one word from a guy Ben doesn’t trust, Von Doom, and he instantly turns on his friend?
Ben decides it’s cool to be a monster at the end, thereby eliminating the most interesting part of the character, his torture at being trapped inside that hideous visage even as he’s compelled to be a hero?
I didn’t even mention Ben calling Johnny, with short, dark hair, a “dumb blonde” or whatever, or Doom trying to turn Reed into a popsicle. I suppose if I’d gone in knowing that the filmmakers had no interest in making another SPIDER-MAN and were instead just trying to make a movie for kids, I might have enjoyed it a bit more. But I doubt it.
Joseph responds: I could probably away explain some of your complaints about the film, but know you're busy with Comicon and everything so I won't badger you into a back-and-forth about the positives and negatives about the film. I will say, however, that you could probably pick out similar complaints about every comic book movie, especially the Spider-Man films (which I loved). I know you have an attachment to FF that I don't have, which may be why it didn't work for you as well as it did for me. They definitely could have made it better and obviously didn't think through the origin as much as they could have, but I think FF is a tough comic to adapt to film especially as an origin and am actually pretty impressed they had the nerve to make a superhero film where there is only one superhero battle (which occurs at the end) and focuses mainly on the characters interacting with each other. I think as a first film it was successful despite its flaws (as the first X-Men was) and sets the stage for hopefully what will be a much more effective sequel.
Ryall: I admit that my lifetime affection for the FF probably clouds my judgment on this one. To me, it just felt like they were almost there, if only they’d tried to develop a coherent movie and not just work on a collection of amusing scenes.
Anyway, I did want to say thanks for always responding, and thanks for all the work you and everyone else at Movie Poop Shoot do to make the site as entertaining as it is. It's one of my few daily visits, and the only one I ever bother to write to. Hope you have a great time at Comicon.
Summer Movies
Greg S. writes: I just caught War of the Worlds, man that was pretty pathetic. I didn’t go in thinking much so it is not like my anticipation was too high or anything. I thought the main problem was that it was trying to combine Independence Day with Signs. I liked both movies but when you put them together it is disastrous. In Independence Day you have all the big explosions and stuff and so it needs a big payoff, since the main characters are a scientist, fighter pilot, and the president it seems plausible that they would be involved in the decisive battle. In Signs you had just a family dealing with alien invasion. No big effects, so the ending doesn’t need a big battle, you just need to see how this one family survives. War of the Worlds has all the explosions of Independence Day with the family concept of Signs. So at the end (and you sort of realize this half way through the movie) there will be no big pay off. Three minor gripes aside from that. The EM pulse shuts off ACTIVE electrical systems, so why do cars that are just sitting there parked also get fried? If we are to suspend reality and to believe that the pulse knocked out active and inactive systems then how does the guy can a video recorder when the aliens bust out of the ground? The characters… man you are supposed to want them to survive, I was just waiting for them to get killed, especially the son. You see the aliens coming and you want to get on to a slow moving ferry boat instead of hiding in the wilderness or amongst the buildings, okay. When it is all said and done the mom and step dad are just sitting in the home in Boston, why are they still there, wouldn’t they be fleeing in terror from the aliens? Oh and if the aliens had been planning this for millennia wouldn’t they have taken the time to prepare for our diverse ecosystem? That’s more than three gripes but whatever.
Ryall: I didn’t mind the movie (although I wouldn’t have minded if the son bit it instead of inexplicably surviving to go hang out on the nice, clean, untouched Boston street.
All good points otherwise—no one ever worries about logic in these Summer movies, it seems. Which always seems contemptuous of the audience, really—like, "oh, who cares if it makes sense, the rubes will go see it anyway."
By the way did you catch Fantastic Four; I hadn’t seen it yet so I was curious of your thoughts. If a movie gets so-so reviews and it is considered "better than the earlier rumors" and rakes in more than expected on opening weekend does it fit into the X-Men or Catwoman category for comic movies? Oh and I happened to catch a early screening of Wedding Crashers a week or so ago, I highly recomend seeing it, Vaughn is perfect for the role.
Ryall: Unfortunately, with that impressive opening weekend, the FF movie falls into a weird category—It’s CATWOMAN but Thinks It’s X-MEN.
I’m looking forward to WEDDING CRASHERS and Steve Carrell’s THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN, too.
The STAR WARS Talks Continue
Frank D. writes: You mentioned 1977 Lucas might have something different to say about Vader, the character. I think this is totally spot on, Lucas is a master of revisionist history.
Obviously his explanation of Greedo shooting first needs no further discussion.
I seem to recall in the run up to Phantom Menace him downplaying Boba Fett. He didn't understand his popularity and basically said he was just a minor character. However, when the fans didn't take to Phantom Menace all of a sudden Jango Fett is the template for every Stormtrooper?
(Stormtroopers are clones? This is the worst thing about the prequels.)
In all of his interviews leading up to Episode III, he is saying these six movies are the story of Darth Vader. Really? If that's so he spent a lot of time with Luke in the original trilogy. Vader didn't make much of an appearance in Return of the Jedi at all.
Ryall: What about when he feebly died? Must’ve been the loss of all those midichlorians he had in his real arm and legs (see the next letter here).
It just seems Lucas is trying to say he made this overall important story about failure and redemption, when really it's just a series of movies with cool characters, good stories, and exciting action sequences.
# # #
Rich S. writes: I always find your exchanges with the Star Wars
fanboys, both pro- and con-, fascinating. My
favorites are the guys who apparently will go to any
lengths, no matter how tortured the logic becomes, to
shoehorn every tidbit of knowledge and every scrap of
dialogue into a coherent, internally-consistent
storyline. The total amount of midichlorians in your
body determines how strong the force is? So when your
leg gets chopped off, your strength decreases?
Priceless. How does that explain itty-bitty Yoda?
Ryall: I know—I’d be freaked out about every haircut.
And another thing. George Lucas changes Star Wars to
make Greedo shoot first because he thinks it makes Han
Solo look non-heroic, and then in Sith, he has Obi-Wan
walk away from Anakin who is legless and on fire, but
still clearly alive and in agony? Huh?
Ryall: Well, that's because he wanted to show... he was making a statement that... I mean, Obi-Wan couldn't... er, um, yeah.
The real explanation, of course, is that Lucas is at
heart a pulp showman who cobbled the thing together as
he went along and that seamless continuity is neither
to be looked for, nor even possible. Yes, Ms. Bates,
we know that "he never got out of the cockadoodie
car!", but that's never really been George's concern.
One need look no further than the Indiana Jones
"prequels" to confim that.
Ryall: Well, I think it's fair to say that about any writer who handles the same characters over time, though—things occur and coincidences start to make sense and you can back into things that make you say "oh, yeah! I intended that."
Thankfully, since it's fiction, I can pretty much act
as if the new trilogy never existed. I can then
continue to enjoy the non-special edition versions of
the first trilogy (though I still fast-forward through
anything having to do with Ewoks) without being
bothered about where things ended up going. (And yes,
they still obviously bother me, but that's the only
rational course a disappointed recovering-fanboy can
take.)
Hathaway I Like It
Tom H. writes: Not exactly going out on a limb with that Anne Hathaway/Jessica Biel prediction are you? I mean, considering she already did an indy movie called Havoc that would make the pedophile "director" Larry Clark blush. A role in which she show far more skin (as in total nudity) than Jesscan Biel ever will, dspite all of Biel's tlak.
So your prediction is kind of like saying that Kirstie Alley will get fat.
Ryall: Or like saying some e-mails are overly critical. I’ve tried to track down HAVOC for a while now, to no avail. So until I see for myself what you’re talking about, I wouldn’t want to talk about it. Everyone who reads my TV column knows how I don’t like to make comments about shows I’ve never seen.
Tom writes back:
I am trying find it myself. But unfortunately, I don't think there WILL be
a copy of the full version. Based on people's comments who recently saw it
at a German film festival, it has been extremely edited. (And the IMDB lists
the US rating as R, so it definitely has been edited.) According to one
review from Germany, there is no lower nudity left in the movie at all.
But she definitely did these scens, so she has already leapfrogged Jessica
Biel, who, despite all her talk and the Gear Magazine spread when she was
17, has really given us nothing but a bra and panties pool scene (with
Freddy Prinze Jr...Yikes) and some ass crack in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Ryall: And Biel loses even more points for appearing in that awful movie STEALTH this summer.
The two are kind of opposites of the other. Biel talks about doing it, yet
hasn't. Anne Hathaway never talked about it, and went WAY beyond anything
that anyone would have thought.
Ryall: You’re right. Now I need to see this movie. Someone out there has to be able to hook me up. For professional review-type purposes only, I mean.
The Absent-Minded, and Absent, Waiter
Timothy Y. writes: Just want to say that the only time I've seen Steve Martin's "Waiter" short (with Buck Henry and Teri Garr!) was on a stand-up VHS released in the late 80's or early 90's. It was a brilliant Hollywood Bowl performance (a comedian that could fill the Bowl? Wow. Martin did it. Python did it. Fuck Andrew Dice Clay...Madison Square Garden? What the fuck is that?), and was brilliant. It also featured "Steve's
Comedy Class," where luminaries like Alan King were gathered around Steve trying to get tips on how to be funny.
I know you probably know this, but last I checked, this wasn't on DVD, and if it gets exposure and we beg, maybe it'll come out and I can spend a little more than it's worth. Also full season boxes of the first five years of SNL.
Ryall: It does seem crazy that it's never been put out on DVD, especially considering the amazing amount of crap that has been released on disc. They played it during a tribute to Martin I attended, one that was televised, but that special hasn’t been released on DVD, either. So the wait continues.
CGC What I Mean?
Michael C. writes: You know, as someone who thinks of himself as a somewhat savvy investor, I thought it was a bit presumptuous, self-indulgent and even short-sited of you to suggest in your column The CGC Hall of Shame that my purchase of Ultimate Fantastic Four #1 CGC 10.0 was the “ultimate waste of money” (see June 2004 edition).
I’ve just turned my "ultimate waste of money" investment of $810 into $1525 in just over one year!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=6543394783&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESO%3AIT&rd=1
Can the true believers within the CGC Hall of Shame do any better with their investments, I wonder? I would love to see both a printed retraction and apology for misstating the nature of my investment (the “ultimate waste of money” indeed!) or at least an acknowledgement that not every investor in high-priced modern CGC books is a total idiot.
Oh, and by the way, I chose not to take issue with your harsh criticism about my investment as "the ultimate in CGC greed". After all, aren't most investments intrinsically greedy?
P.S. It would be very disingenuous of you to acknowledge your mistake with the "one fool is bailed out by an even bigger fool" analogy. I hope this won't be the case either!
Ryall: Well, I’d say you’re right that all investments are intrinsically greedy, yes, and I’d also say that the "one fool is bailed out by an even bigger fool" argument you postulate isn’t without its merits, either. But glad it all worked out, which is the point you’re making here anyway.
Tru Story
PRESS RELEASE
SONY PICTURES CLASSICS SET TO OPEN "CAPOTE" STARRING PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN EARLY FALL
Sony Pictures Classics is set to release the United Artists film "Capote" starring Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener and Chris Cooper for September 30th, which is Truman Capote's birthday.
The film is directed by Bennett Miller (The Cruise), based on the book "Capote" by Gerald Clarke with screenplay by Dan Futterman.
In 1959 the celebrated literary figure Truman Capote (Philip Seymour Hoffman), stunned by the brutal slayings of the Clutter family, sets out for Holcomb, Kansas accompanied by his friend Harper Lee (Catherine Keener) author of "To Kill a Mockingbird," to do investigative stories for The New Yorker. Capote delves into the isolated small town and soon personally becomes entangled in the life of Perry Smith (Clifton Collins Jr.), one of the accused killers. His research resulted in the groundbreaking non-fiction novel "In Cold Blood," changing journalism forever.
The film stars Philip Seymour Hoffman (Truman Capote) and Catherine Keener (Harper Lee) along with Chris Cooper (Alvin Dewey), Bob Balaban (William Shawn), Amy Ryan (Alice Dewey), Bruce Greenwood (Jack Dunphy) and Clifton Collins Jr. (Perry Smith).
Extermination
Joseph Sh. Writes in about last week’s look at B-Movie EXTERMINATOR CITY:
The film is based around the expliots of a serial killing robot and features cameos from a host of B-Movie Scream Queens, Adult Stars and Glamour Models.
The cast includes Julie Strain, Brinke Stevens, Teresa May, Cathy Barry, Zenova Braedon, Fembomb, Rhiannon, Lilith Stabbs, Jill Kelly, Syn Devil, Amy Lynn Best, Katarina Nikita, Lana Cox, Penny Lynn, Taylor Wayne, Persephone and Jacklyn Lick to name but a few.
Here's a good idea for a contest (not that you asked): Which of the above names are B-Movie Queens, which are Adult Stars, and which are Glamour Models? All I know is, if Jacklyn Lick isn't the name of an "Adult Star", it should be.
Ryall: That’s pretty hilarious. Not sure which list I’d put “Syn Devil” on, but I’m pretty sure which one would have “Lana Cox’s” name on it. There’s no way not to see a movie co-starring someone named “Fembomb,” that’s all I know.
Photos of the Week
Ryall: All I need for entertainment is this paddle ball. I don’t need one other thing. Wait, I need this:
E-MAIL RYALL | E-MAIL TIPTON | ARCHIVES
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