THE MESSYS -- THE WORST OF 2002!

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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall

01	THE BREAK-UP	$39.17 $12759/av
02	X-MEN: THE LAST STAND	$34.02 $9159/av
03	OVER THE HEDGE	$20.65 $5170/avg
04	THE DAVINCI CODE	$18.61 $4953/avg
05	MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III	$4.68 $1756/avg
06	POSEIDON	$3.49 $1283/avg
07	RV	$3.20 $1469/avg
08	SEE NO EVIL	$2.04 $1607/avg
09	AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH	$1.36 $17615/avg
10	JUST MY LUCK	$855K $892/avg

E-MAIL AUTHOR

THE MESSYS -- THE WORST OF 2002

Vote for the worst movie of 2002 and win prizes!

Below you will find a selection of sixteen films which were sliced, diced and otherwise panned by critics in the year 2002. It's up to you, the discriminating readers of Movie Poop Shoot to decide which, of these is the Ultimate Stinker of the year. But CRITICAL MESS wouldn't exist without the critics who provide the verbal barbs and stingers on a regular basis, so we want to salute them as well. (This is where you come in, folks!)

Vote #1

To salute said critics, venture over to the CRITICAL MESS archive at www.minerwerks.com/mess.html and check out all the movies we've featured in 2002. Select up to five of your favorite quotes and send them along in an email to criticalmess@minerwerks.com . IMPORTANT: Be sure to put "2002 quotes" as the subject of the message!

Vote #2

To help choose the biggest Celluloid Turd of 2002, review the sixteen finalists below. Click on each movie's thumbnail and you can peruse some of the choice comments from North America's finest critics before making your final decision. When you've made your choice, drop an e-mail to criticalmess@minerwerks.com . For this contest, please use "2002 Messy" as the subject.

Slackers 02/01/02	Rollerball 02/08/02	Crossroads 02/15/02	Van Wilder 04/05/02
Jason X 04/26/02	Vulgar 04/26/02	Bad Company 06/07/02	Halloween Resurrection 07/12/02
The Master of Disguise 08/02/02	Adventures of Pluto Nash 08/16/02	Fear Dot Com 08/30/02	Ballistic:Ecks vs. Sever 09/20/02
Swept Away 10/11/02	Half Past Dead 11/15/02	Eight Crazy Nights 11/27/02	Extreme Ops 11/27/02

Now, for that prize part...

I've got a couple hundred movie posters sitting here wishing they had a home. Some of them are over 20 years old, and some are more recent. And there's plenty in between. There's probably something in there you'd find interesting (hands off my MILLION DOLLAR MYSTERY aka THE GLAD BAG MOVIE poster, though!).

On the weekend of February 1st, I will randomly select one person from EACH OF THE TWO VOTING CATEGORIES above to take their pick from my surprise list of movie posters. Which of the two winners gets to pick first will be randomly decided as well (Maybe I'll throw darts at the names or something). To be correctly eligible, make sure you distinguish which category you are voting in via the subject line! The results of each category and contest winners will be announced on or about February 3rd.

Thanks for all the support for CRITICAL MESS in 2002, and here's to another year full of crap movies (Yeah, I'm looking at you, KANGAROO JACK)!