By Alexander Keen
January 10, 2003
Every year, moviegoers are inundated by an extensive array of advertisements prior to the movies they paid to see. While audiences universally agree that the recent influx of commercials is an abomination, when the lights go down for the start of the trailers, there is a certain breed of moviegoer that starts to quake in his seat. Call them previews, trailers, or coming attractions, these lightning fast blurbs can be the highlight of the moviegoer's night or the subject of his verbal fury for days to come.
Just as movies have a release calendar and schedule, so do trailers. Big-news trailers come attached to big-news movies. You are more likely to see the first-ever footage of THE HULK before SPIDER-MAN than in front of DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD. The biggest and baddest trailers arrive in theaters when they can reach the largest possible audience. Early- and mid-summer, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are the perfect opportunity to start the publicity and word of mouth machines moving. Studios want their best trailers attached to the best possible movies -- how else could the 20-minute prelude to THE TWO TOWERS be explained?
Collecting movie trailers is an ever-growing hobby thanks to DVDs, trailer news sites, and of course, e-Bay. Good DVDs share all of the promotional material, good sites share all of the direct links hidden in the HTML, and good auctions shill the rarest of merchandise. It is the collective powers of these three vices that created my obsession for movie trailers... and it is these that are to blame for this column. I present to you: The Best and Worst Trailers of 2002.
Worst Trailers
Any best-of list would be empty without a collection of the worst trailers of the year. While last year's garbage (CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN, SAY IT ISN'T SO, DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE and JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS) were not hard to see coming, there may be a surprise or two in this year's collection. Although it is very difficult to top Nicholas Cage abusing an Italian accent in a romantic war movie, this year's collection tries its damndest to find a new low.
Luckily for movie fans worldwide, SLAP HER... SHE'S FRENCH never made it to theaters this summer as was planned. This over-long and under-intelligent trailer is merely a rehashing of an episode of Saved By the Bell (sans Tiffani-Amber Thiesen). Add the fact that it features Piper Perabo, of all people, as the hottie French exchange student, and you've got straight-to-the-USA Network written all over it. Even the music is unoriginal. Wasn't that the same pop-punk tune featured in a Noxzema commercial?
Next up is a musical from Disney featuring two former Oscar nominees and Queen Latifah. Did I mention there were singing bears? Walt Disney's THE COUNTRY BEARS had prominent roles for Haley Joel Osment and Oscar-winner Christopher Walken. This sad excuse for a movie also featured a bevy of mid-range talents, including Stephen Root, Diedrich Bader, and Daryl Mitchell. And yet the trailer is a complete abomination. Even though it is understood that trailers for children's movies are purposely simplistic and contrived, there is a certain tolerance level that distinguishes the well executed from the failures. THE COUNTRY BEARS's inability to reveal anything not steeped in cliché, along with its complete telling of the movie itself, only encourages an audience to hiss and throw popcorn.
Continuing the animal theme comes a teaser from the former studio giant, MGM. Reese Witherspoon's sequel to LEGALLY BLONDE is not bad because it means more pink in fashion. It is bad because of the shoddiness in production. MGM uses stock footage of Washington, D.C. in conjunction with Witherspoon doing obvious blue screen work to fake new scenes from LEGALLY BLONDE: RED, WHITE, & BLONDE. The only thing this waste of film teased me to do was to slit my wrists before BLONDE's July 2nd release date.
The runner-up for worst trailer is actually a pair of advertisements for ANALYZE THAT, the sequel to ANALYZE THIS. With a short teaser and full-length trailer released this year, ANALYZE THAT commits the ultimate sin for a comedy -- it is completely unfunny. The teaser spends more time presenting the actors involved than presenting the poor attempts at comedy. Top that off with a trailer that meanders along on for over two minutes without a single funny scene. Yay, more of the painfully weak chemistry between Billy Crystal and Robert DeNiro. Do you think if I tied a string with a $5 dollar bill on the end that DeNiro would chase it?
Finally, the worst trailer of the year is another MGM animal feature, CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE. In the teaser, Steve Irwin messes with the iconic MGM lion. Why, Irwin, why? Leave the poor cat alone. The teaser unfortunately features an introduction and voice over by Irwin himself, and is so corny it's hard to believe this is not a spoof. MGM made the mistake of converting an educational show into a simplistic action film that would have been better suited for IMAX presentation.
With the conclusion of the worst of 2002, several other trailers should be listed for dishonorable mention: TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES, PINOCCHIO, and DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD.
Best Trailers of 2002
2002 was a solid year for movies, with many more Oscar contenders than usual and, of course, a plethora of box office success stories. As far as trailers go there were very few new ideas that shook up the art form. However, there were still many trailers that entertained and kept audiences amazed for what was to come in the near future. The top five trailers of 2002 include two films with a foreign flavor, two independent films, one strong Oscar contender, and a film that made over $300 million this year.
And it is with that final factoid that the number five trailer will be revealed to be STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES. While all of the marketing for ATTACK OF THE CLONES had been top-notch, specifically the trailer labeled The Clone Wars is being recognized here. The first trailer to truly capture the intensity and spirit of the film, The Clone Wars trailer greased the hands of fansboy everywhere as they discussed the minutiae and explosive action they had just seen. With extensive appearances of Emperor Palpatine and Jango Fett, this trailer quelled any doubts that ATTACK OF THE CLONES would be bogged down by a boring love story. Additionally, further exposition of the battle between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Fett made the trailer just as intriguing. Finally the concluding words from Yoda put the entire galactic mess into perspective, helping relieve the Star Wars naysayers after THE PHANTOM MENACE hit the wall.
Fourth on the list is easily the best trailer for a comedy this year - ANGER MANAGEMENT. After Adam Sandler spent most of 2002 ensuring his place as one of the world's top comedians with MR. DEEDS, EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS, and the exceptional PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, he dropped the teaser for ANGER MANAGEMENT at the feet of his fans. To label this 100-second ditty "explosive" would be an understatement. The teaser uses The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" perfectly as an introduction for Jack Nicholson. And the film plays it smart plays it smart -- the teaser does not allow the recognizable track to overwhelm the film, using it merely to bring intensity to the collection of clips. The magic of the teaser is derived from seeing these two great entertainers in a comedic standoff.
On a completely different tangent, the third best trailer of 2002 is for the critically acclaimed ROAD TO PERDITION. Sam Mendes's follow-up to AMERICAN BEAUTY featured ads that reveal the majestic canvas the director used to awe filmgoers starving for great summer cinema. The trailer captures the wondrous recreation of the gangster film not as an action film, but as a sweeping drama. It perfectly conveys the power of Paul Newman and Tom Hanks' performances. The musical accompaniment is extravagant, making the story carry an air of epic proportions. A perfect example of the best studio created marketing this year.
The final two trailers both have foreign roots. The second best trailer of the year is the South Korean import, TAKE CARE OF MY CAT. It is a surprisingly touching trailer that shatters all preconceived ideas for a coming-of-age trailer. The music is playful and poignant. It is perfectly paced, not giving away too much, and overflowing with charm. To its credit, this trailer is simple and never loses momentum. Definitely a trailer to hope for the next time you are in the art house.
Finally, number one with a bullet is the French trailer for FEMME FATALE. While the film's merit was hotly contested, there are no doubts about the creativity and genius that went into this trailer. Audiences for years have been complaining about trailers giving too much of the movie away - well this trailer literally gives them the whole movie, without giving anything away. It exudes sexuality, intrigue, and complexity with incredible ease. Most importantly, excepting only the trailer for COMEDIAN, FEMME FATALE is the only the trailer to buck marketing trends and raise the bar a notch. It does so with exuberance and without fear.
There were many good trailers this year and not all could make the final five. Notably good trailers include: KILL BILL, ANTWONE FISHER, ABOUT SCHMIDT, EQUILIBRIUM, and PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE. If you are interested in seeing the complete top 100 and further commentary please follow this link. I would be glad to hear any differences of opinion or shared thoughts that you might have - so drop me a line.
Read more from Alex Keen at The-Trades.com.
E-MAIL AUTHOR
