By Scott Bowden
September 23, 2004
Now … we go to school … woooo!
Scott Bowden decides to disgrace us with his presence for the second consecutive week, tackling Joe Paterno and Penn State (?), RAW’s miscarriage of justice, and a classic angle between Ric Flair and Blackjack Mulligan
Pin State: According to a recent course catalog, Penn State is offering a course on The Professional Wrestling Industry: The Business and Spectacle of Populist Sports- Entertainment. The catalog describes the class as: “An examination of the history and current popularity of professional wrestling. We will examine the major companies, the behind the scenes workings of the business, the relationship between the Internet and the current “boom” in the business (Bowden: that should be interesting), and important issues that surround the business. One need not be a “fan” (Bowden: i.e., “mark”) of the pro-wrestling industry to study it. Students will have a chance to meet guest speakers from the pro-wrestling industry (Bowden: Who…Johnny Valiant?) as well as attend some live events. Required texts: A three-month subscription to one of the industry newsletters (we’ll do this on the first day of class), access to cable TV (to watch 2 hrs. per week of pro wrestling) and willingness to make extensive use of the Internet. No wrestling required.”
It’s a good thing they included that last disclaimer. In fact, after the controversial first semester in which the class was offered, more disclaimers were added: 1. Foreign objects are strictly prohibited. 2. Further, you cannot carve your initials onto your desk or onto anyone else’s forehead. 3. Hitting your instructor with a folding metal chair will result in an automatic failing grade. 4. The final exam will take place within the confines of a steel cage.
I’m slightly offended that KENTUCKY FRIED RASSLIN’ isn’t required reading, but with my publication schedule, that might be a problem. This actually reminds me of my college years (at my Uncle Bobby’s Florida State University), during which I would use pro wrestling as a topic for papers in classes ranging from advertising (McMahon’s takeover/marketing) to philosophy (good vs. evil) to journalism ethics (Meltzer’s sheet vs. Apter mags). No wonder it took me nearly six years to graduate.
Wrestling History 101: For those PSU students (or anyone else for that matter) researching the history of the business (Pre-McMahon Jr.), there are plenty of resource sites nipping up faster than HBK, including KAYFABE MEMORIES, the MID-ATLANTIC GATEWAY, and GLORY DAYS (WTBS/Jim Crockett).
An off-shoot of the MACW GATEWAY, BLACKJACK’S BAR-B-QUE chronicles the career of the legendary Blackjack Mulligan, a damn good worker and a strong interview as well, who nearly singlehandedly lifted the MACW territory from the ashes following the plane crash that sidelined Ric Flair and ended the career of Johnny Valentine. A recent entry includes an examination of “The Hat & Robe,” an angle that effectively “destroyed” the friendship between Mulligan and Flair. The heat was so strong that Mulligan received a number of free cowboy hats after Flair destroyed one that was legitimately given to him by singer Willie Nelson. Part of that had to do with the fact that fans really believed (or wanted to believe) back then — and the boys acted the part, i.e., they kayfabed everything, they never broke character.
In fact, booker George Scott forced Mulligan to move after “splitting up” the two friends on TV, since the big cowboy lived only two houses down from Flair in Charlotte. As Mulligan says: “It had become so real. George said, ‘You guys can’t live on the same street in Charlotte! You guys are going to have to move now.’ And we were like, ‘Oh, no!’ But Flair goes and buys a new mansion … across town. I went and bought a place in Matthews, about 5 acres there. We actually had to sell our houses and buy new houses. These are real things that were happening to us. Ric’s wife had left him, and he’d gone with Beth. And my wife was a friend of [Ric’s] first wife. This thing was real! And for that reason, it came off real.”
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Even the van that Flair and Mulligan purchased together in real life for their travels around the territory would have to be sold. In a classic MACW TV moment, the two divided up the contents of the van, which included a number of items left behind by Flair’s groupies. The inspiration for that angle had come from a real-life situation in which Mulligan’s wife asked Blackjack to use the van to take the kids to church: “I’m [thinking], ‘Oh, God, Ric had the van last night.’ So I run out there real quick, and I look in the van — pantyhose are laying all over the place. Oh, God, there’s all kinds of unmentionable stuff. I’m pulling it out as fast I can and throwing it in a bag so the kids and everybody can go to church. My wife … asks, ‘What’s that?’ I say, ‘Oh, it’s just some of Ric’s stuff.’” Classic. For more info on this angle and other great Blackjack stories, check out: http://www.blackjackmulligan.net/index.htm.
I so miss the kayfabe era.
Tabooking: Vince McMahon promises the next RAW PPV event, TABOO TUESDAY, will be booked by the fans. Now, if he would only let the fans start booking RAW and SMACKDOWN!, too. OK, that’s harsh, but there are some fans who could write squared circles around the current creative teams, with the exception of Paul Heyman. (But then Viscera and Gangrel returned to SMACKDOWN! on Heyman’s watch, so….)
Miscarriage of Justice: The most romantic conception since ROSEMARY’S BABY ended tragically Monday when Lita lost Baby Kane. Judging from how the would-be father’s reaction was played, I assume Kane’s a babyface now. Right — a babyface after allegedly “raping” Lita and forcing her to marry him. (OK, she was “contractually obligated” after Matt Hardy lost to Kane, but if countless wrestlers — including Ric Flair — can get out of “retirement” stipulations, then there was probably hope for Lita.) Ain’t love grand?
Stone-Cold-Faced: I reacted much like Kane to the Lita miscarriage: “Nooooooooooo!!!” While I suppose it could have been worse (Lita giving birth to Mae Young’s hand or Midget D or Tony Williams), this angle has been beyond horrible. Even worse, announcers Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler broke the news with nearly the same shaken expressions as when they announced Owen Hart’s death. I realize it’s not their fault to an extent — they’re simply reacting to the crap that’s being written. Still, though, I didn’t find this entertaining at all.
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Just When I Think I’m Out, They Pull Me Back In: As bad as RAW was overall Monday, the crowd was hot for the actual wrestling, especially the HBK/Chris Jericho bout (the six-man tag had some good Memphis-style, kayfabe-era heat as well). The timing of Michaels and Jericho was impeccable, with the crowd into everything they did. Some have complained about the finish, but I didn’t have a problem with it, as there really wasn’t another way out. Besides, it builds for Michaels vs. Christian, which should result in some damn good matches. This bout again reminded me of why I’m a wrestling fan, something I really needed right now.